Fresh Start Relationships

How To Make Friends as an Adult

Who are your friends?

Are you struggling to make friends as an adult? This can be especially difficult if you have relocated, or if you are an empty nester.

A recent survey has determined you might not have a lot of close relationships in your life. In fact, the number of people who claim to have more than three solid friendships in their lives is only 37% or one-third of the population. Even more discouraging is the idea that fully 27% of adults say they have no close relationships at all.

As an adult, the thought of trying to make new friends is a daunting idea. For one thing, we’re swamped. We get caught up on our personal responsibilities and business goals that frequently we don’t make time for a social life outside of loose connections with our children’s friends’ parents and professional networking. Who has the time?

Thankfully, you do. It actually takes less time than you think to discover the joy of adult friendships. You can start with these five simple tips:

#1 Start with the Old

Why reinvent the wheel? Instead, ask yourself who your friends used to be. Is it possible you can rekindle some old friendships? In this era of social media, tracking down your best friend from high school is easier than ever. Why not shoot someone a quick message or text to open up the conversation all over again?

#2 Become a Listener

When in groups of new people, rather than working hard to be the life of the party, why not take a step back? Making a point to actively listen to people makes you more attractive to those around you (everyone loves a listener) and puts you in the position of discovering the things which intrigue you most about the others. It’s a simple way to learn about shared interests, so you can strike up a friendship.

#3 Take it to the Next Level

Have acquaintances but aren’t quite ready to call them friends yet? Try opening up a little. Being vulnerable forges intimacy with others and deepens the friendship, taking it to the next level. 

#4 Stay in Touch

Worried about how to hang onto the friends you have? If you want to keep people from falling off the radar and becoming distant, make a point to check in with them once in a while. Send a text, make a call, set up a chance to get together. By checking in, you’re telling the other person they’re important to you and worth your time. A general rule of thumb? Connect about every two weeks.

#5 Make a Group

Even better? Start putting your friends together in one place by creating a group of friends. There’s nothing more fun than hanging out in a gathering of people who enjoy each other’s company. Start simple, with a lunch date or drinks after work.

We would love to hear your comments below with any tips you have for making new friends as an adult. Many people are feeling even more isolated than ever before due to the current global events, so let us know how you are coping with maintaining longtime friendships as well as making new friends.

And remember…..”A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he/she knows you are slightly cracked”

Bernard Meltzer

Fresh Start Personal Growth

Finding Your Purpose May Require Change

People have difficulty accepting change. However, it’s the one aspect of life we know will happen.its then thing we can be sure of – whether we like it or not, change is going to happen. If you don’t do well with change, you should reverse your aversion to it.

Think of it this way. Perhaps you haven’t yet found your purpose because you have resisted change. That is a common affliction with many people. They simply refuse to accept that something different is happening in their lives. 

The good news is people adapt with relative ease. After a while, you’ll have no choice but to accept most of the changes that happen in your life. People close to you will move on (one way or another). You will go through stages of life. In the end, you will cherish the memories that you have.

There are unintended consequences in most changes that occur for you. For instance, your current boss may leave the company, and a new one is going to replace them. You enjoyed working for the old boss and are dreading the new one. He or she could be someone you don’t like. Then again, the situation could now be beneficial to you. Perhaps the new boss and you tend to have a similar line of thinking, more so than your old boss.

You will need to deal with changes in your personal life, too. Your kids are going to move out of your house eventually. You may have to one day take care of your parents, and so on. When you are young and first starting out on your own, you don’t think of these situations.

The most significant benefit of any change is that it may be just what is needed to find your purpose. If you are used to the same routine, and it doesn’t seem right for you, changes may give you the boost and desire to find something that is right for you.

You should try to expose yourself to change more often. Some changes you cannot plan. However, there are many that you can. For instance, you can try to take an opposing point of view that you would never dare to in the past. If you favor a political party, speak with people from the opposite party. Try to keep an open mind when doing this. Ask them how they chose that point of view.

By exposing yourself to change, you will become better at accepting it. When this happens, you may be closer to discovering who you are and what is your purpose.

Fresh Start

Starting Over Later In Life

Behavioural expert and author Beverly D. Flaxington suggests that individual change and evolution is a natural and important process. People often reach stages in their lives when a major adjustment may be needed. This may be due a catastrophic change in their lives or encountering circumstances which mean starting over is the only real option. (

When we are young, we consider ourselves adaptable but as we get older the thought of starting over can be terrifying. If we are faced with the need to start again in later life it need not be so daunting and in some cases, it can be hugely liberating.

Starting Over in a Relationship

Clinical psychologist Marilyn A. Mendoza Ph.D. believes that losing a spouse can be one of the most traumatic moments in someone’s life. Their happy life as they knew it is over and they cannot envision being happy again. 

Some people would never even consider looking for a new relationship and would choose to just adjust to life alone. Others may need the comfort of a relationship but be scared to look for a new partner. It is a very personal choice. (

The key to starting over, especially when you have to do so in later years is to not rush things. There may seem an urgency to get back up and out there but truly there is not. The need to grieve must be respected and you should be absolutely sure that you are ready to move forward.

This is also true if a relationship falls apart in later life. It can be scary to be alone especially if the relationship was a long one. It will take bravery and resilience but more importantly time. Understand your self worth and know that sometimes it’s okay to focus on yourself. You will know when you are ready to move on, be patient with yourself.

Starting Over in Your Career

You may have had the same job and career for years, maybe decades, and it’s all you know and feel comfortable with. If something comes along to take that career away such as redundancy or perhaps medical issues that mean you can no longer do the work this can be a huge hit.

When in later life you can no longer go perform the job you loved, this is going to be scary and you are allowed to be upset by that. This doesn’t mean, however, that you have no use. Starting over is never easy but you can look into other careers. Take vocational classes to learn a new skill or trade. It’s never too late. Embrace the change and use it to find the next chapter in your life.

Keys to Starting Over

Starting over can be scary no matter what part of your life it is that is being affected. But there are keys that can help you get on the road to a fresh start.

  • Gain a Fresh Perspective: Once you get beyond the immediate sadness of losing the way of life you had it is time to start assessing your options. Take a step back from your feelings and take stock of what you have rather than what you have lost.
  • Identify the Challenges: Take stock of the challenges you face and for each one write down at least three possible solutions. Come from a space of positivity and a can-do attitude.
  • Reassess your Priorities: Look deeply into your priorities, you will likely find they have changed from when you were younger. Form your plan for starting over based on what is most important to you.