Self-defeating, mistaken beliefs are the debilitating thoughts you have about yourself or how you view your relationships with others. They can get so carried away that they lead to panic disorder, anxiety, and depression.

Case in point, your beliefs affect everything you do. In fact, every decision you make starts with a belief of some sort because your beliefs are a collection of everything you know to be true.

Yet, sometimes what you believe is actually based on false emotions or memories. What do you do then? Is there hope of changing? And if yes, how can we disrupt our faulty belief system and change it for the better?

How Faulty Beliefs Affect Everything You Do

What you convince yourself to be true ultimately becomes your beliefs. Good or bad, your subconscious mind has complete trust in how you see the world and how you interpret certain things that happen to you in your life.

Then, it takes your thoughts and emotions and comes up with a skewed view of how the world works. So, in effect, you’re the one who’s holding yourself back from living a fulfilling life brimming with adventures and lots of happy times.

Tony Robbins said it best: “The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.”

What Are Faulty Beliefs?

Faulty, or limiting, beliefs are the opinions and thoughts you believe to be 100% true. They’re so ingrained in your mind because you spend each day repeating them to yourself, like a mantra.

Sometimes, you may also blame other people, and the Universe in general, for everything that goes wrong in your life. Why? You’ve convinced yourself that this is your reality through the power of faulty beliefs.

However, limiting beliefs are called that for a reason. They stunt your growth as an individual and have a negative impact on the way you go about your personal and professional life. So, you feel stuck, incompetent, and that failure follows you around wherever you go.

Where do Faulty Beliefs Come From?

On average, faulty beliefs are developed during our early childhood years. According to Dr. Bruce Lipton, the first seven years of our lives are extremely critical because our brains do nothing but soak in everything around them. This is how we form the basis of right vs. wrong, good vs. evil.

This is also the time when children who are loved and valued grow up with this inherent belief. Consequently, their relationships with themselves and others stem from that love and self-worth.

Sadly, the opposite is also true. Children who are neglected or abused become adults with a deep belief that they’re not worthy of love and affection.

Another way to look at it is that faulty beliefs are our way of defending ourselves against frustration, anger, sadness, and other negative emotions.

As a result, your subconscious brain tries to block further suffering by altering how you view yourself and the world around you. This manifests itself in many ways, and each of them has a negative effect on everything you do in life.

Take a look at some of the negative outcomes that are a by-product of faulty beliefs:

• Anxiety
• Conformism
• Imposter syndrome
• Overthinking
• Perfectionism
• Procrastination

How to Identify Faulty Beliefs?

Let’s be honest, you can’t tell yourself you’re a winner one day, then wake up the following day believing it wholeheartedly. If only it could be that easy. But this is a time-consuming and patient process. And you have to be willing to put in the work, but it’ll be so much worth it in the end.

Step 1: Listen to Your Thoughts

The first step in identifying faulty beliefs and self-defeating thought patterns is by really paying attention. The next time that little voice in your head tells you that you’re better off not doing something or having so-and-so, stop and listen.

Step 2: Challenge Faulty Beliefs

The second step is to challenge these beliefs head-on. When you have a negative thought, hit it back with two positive ones.

They don’t have to be big or anything fancy. Just think of something that makes you smile and brightens your day.

Then, slowly, day by day, you’ll notice that the nagging voices in your head are becoming weaker. They no longer drain your mental and emotional strength because they’ve been replaced by more positive thoughts.

Step 3: Develop Healthy Beliefs

In order to transform faulty beliefs into something healthier and more productive, you have to know your self-worth. Be proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished, imperfections and all.

Then, armored with self-love and compassion, take one step outside your comfort zone. Think about one thing you try to avoid on purpose, say social interactions.

To overcome this fear, you have to commit to engage in a brief, meaningless conversation with one or two people each day. Putting yourself out there can be scary, just as many things in life can be.

And remember that it’s okay to be a bit awkward at times. Who isn’t?

But strong, optimistic people know there’s more to them than a few minutes of awkwardness. They’re more confident and comfortable in their own skin that they just shrug it off and keep on moving forward.

That’s why you have to keep at it. Continue to challenge your faulty beliefs so you can finally start seeing yourself and the world in a more accurate light, where hope and possibilities are within arm’s reach.

Being A Good Listener – The Top Five Traits To Have

If you want to become a good listener there are certain traits and skills you will need to learn. Listening is a great skill to develop and it can improve all areas of your life. People love to talk and are always looking for someone to listen to them. 

The Importance of Listening to Other’s Viewpoints

When you disagree with someone, likely, you don’t want to waste your time listening to their viewpoints. Although listening to something you disagree with isn’t always fun, it is important to your future for several reasons. 

# You Will Learn Something New

When you take the time to listen to someone else and their viewpoints, you are exposed to thoughts that don’t exist in your mind and perspectives you may not have considered before. And even though you may not like what you are hearing, you often learn new things by listening to others. This also helps expand your mind to be more accepting of new thoughts, which could help you be more successful in the future. 

# Listening Helps You Develop Patience.

As previously mentioned, being able to sit there and listen to someone you don’t agree with is difficult. You will have to have patience.

“Sometimes, what a person needs is not a brilliant mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens”.

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And if you haven’t already developed the necessary patience for this task, just the practice of listening to others more often will help you to develop it. If you find you are struggling with the task, try to remember you are listening to learn something new. You can also listen with the intent to ask questions. This will help you focus on the words the other person is saying more carefully.

# You Expand Your Network

People love when others listen to what they have to say, it makes them feel important. When you take the time to listen to someone else, even though you may not agree with what they are saying, you make that person feel better about themselves. And this can help you make a new friend or connection.

This can help you on your path to success in the future as you never know when you may need to know someone in a certain field or area of study. Besides, expanding your network of people is always a good idea.

Overall, listening to someone else who has an opposing viewpoint from yourself will never be an easy task. But when you resolve to listen to someone else, this helps teach you new things and further develops your patience. 

Not only that, but it also helps you to grow your network which could provide unmeasured value to you in your future. Thus, it’s time to learn how to listen to others sooner rather than later if you want to succeed in life. 

The Top Five Traits of a Good Listener

If you want to become a good listener there are certain traits and skills you will need to learn. Listening is a great skill to develop and it can improve all areas of your life. People love to talk and are always looking for someone to listen to them. So what makes us a good listener?

Here are 5 essential traits:

1. Understand Their Point of View

When listening to someone your goal should be to understand their point of view. Listen to everything they say before forming your own opinion, and remember that you do not necessarily have to agree with them. Everyone deserves, and should form, their own opinions on various topics. Try to look at their point of view and ask yourself if they might be the person who is right. 

2. Pay Attention

Paying attention is the next trait. If you don’t pay attention you will miss out on important information. Always be aware of what is going on with the person who is speaking, and don’t forget to pay attention to your surroundings. 

3. Make Eye Contact

The action of making eye contact with the person who is speaking, shows them that you are paying attention. If you start looking around you, you are giving them the impression that you are not interested, or have become bored. 

4. Allow Them To Finish Talking

Allow the person to finish talking. This often takes a little patience, but it can be helpful for both sides. First the person talking can vent their opinions or frustrations. Secondly it helps the listener to fully understand the issue at hand. 

5. Think Before Responding

A good listener will also think before responding back. Again they often ask what if this person is correct in their way of thinking. People have the bad trait of speaking before thinking and this can lead to all kinds of awkward or difficult situations. 

It is perfectly normal for your brain to want to respond quickly, stop yourself and think before you speak! 

Sometimes it can be hard to stay focused on a person, it is normal to want to look away. If you find yourself doing this try nodding to the person or making direct eye contact with them. This signals to them that you are paying attention. If you really need to look away for a second, then muffle a cough behind your hand! 

Other tips that you might want to use to show that you are paying attention include: 

• Saying the person’s name now and again
• Using facial expressions
• Using body language

If you make an effort to put these five traits into play consistently, you will become a much better listener for it.