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6 Tips To Make Fear Your Friend

What makes you afraid?

Is it losing someone you love? Maybe you fear thunderstorms or heights or elevators. Or perhaps the thought of a visit to your dentist causes you anxiety and fear?

Whatever it is, fear is normal. It’s how our body warns us of dangerous situations and that we should be careful.

Yet, sometimes, our fears can become so great that they hold us back from living up to our full potential. They fill us with dread and uncertainty that we soon become constantly stressed and anxious over the smallest things.

Although surprisingly, fear, in its positive form, can actually be good for us. It can inspire innovative ideas and motivate us to reach new heights.

So, we’re here today to help you make fear your friend. Follow the six tips below, and you’ll know how to turn what was once your foe into an ally.

Let’s get started.

Identify the Source

This is probably the hardest step, but it’s absolutely worth it. But first, you need to come to terms with the source of your fear in order to overcome it.

Being aware of the root cause will be difficult in the beginning, but it’ll make you stronger. You’ll no longer live in the shadow of that big, insurmountable fear.

Embrace It

You’ve come face-to-face with your fear. Now, it’s time to embrace it.

But before you do that, you have to actually admit that such-and-such scares you. There are several ways to do this. First, you can either say it aloud, preferably to someone else in a natural setting.

You can also write it down in a journal or diary. The point is to get it out of your head and into real life. That’s when your fear loses its control over you.

It also feels better to get it off your chest and share it with the world. You’ll be surprised to know just how many people are just as afraid as you are.

Think Rationally

Fear makes us panic, and panic makes us do stupid things. In fact, studies show that when we panic, our prefrontal cortex shuts down. This is the region of our brain responsible for rational thinking.

So, case in point, learn how to think rationally despite your worries and panic. Make fear your friend, and you’ll be able to go a lot farther in life.

Take Stock

People deal with fear, stress, and anxiety in different ways. Some people like to be challenged and are great under pressure. Others find it better to work at their own pace without any tight deadlines looming overhead.

Whichever way you prefer, the important thing is not to let fear get the better of you. For example, say you’re afraid to speak in public. But then a colleague suddenly got sick and asked you to take over the presentation you’ve been preparing for weeks.

In this scenario, you have to pick whether you’ll let your fear overpower you or whether you’ll rise to the challenge.

The latter won’t be easy, but it’ll definitely be worth it in the long run. Be objective and tell yourself that others have held presentations before and have lived to tell about it. So, what’s the big deal?

Remember, your mind tends to blow things out of proportion. So, find a way to deal with the stress and take stock. It’s the only way you’ll be able to harness your fear and get the job done.

Find Support

No one ever failed by having a strong support system. Get around those people in your life who always encourage you to keep going. The same people who continue to love you unconditionally when you’re venting about the things that cause you fear and anxiety.

A lot of research has been carried out on the benefits of having a support system. It empowers you with good coping skills while boosting your self-esteem and overall well-being.

Moreover, a sound support system can lower stress, anxiety, and depression rates. 

Be Positive

Whenever you’re afraid, you’ll tend to focus on negative thoughts and emotions. But then, they fester in your mind and transform into this big, ugly thing that you can no longer control.

Why not try some positivity for a change? Remember, the mind is quite powerful; it just needs a small push in the right direction.

By thinking positively, you can overcome your fears and actually live to tell the tale! All you have to do is believe it, and everything else will fall into place.

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Being A Good Listener – The Top Five Traits To Have

If you want to become a good listener there are certain traits and skills you will need to learn. Listening is a great skill to develop and it can improve all areas of your life. People love to talk and are always looking for someone to listen to them. 

The Importance of Listening to Other’s Viewpoints

When you disagree with someone, likely, you don’t want to waste your time listening to their viewpoints. Although listening to something you disagree with isn’t always fun, it is important to your future for several reasons. 

# You Will Learn Something New

When you take the time to listen to someone else and their viewpoints, you are exposed to thoughts that don’t exist in your mind and perspectives you may not have considered before. And even though you may not like what you are hearing, you often learn new things by listening to others. This also helps expand your mind to be more accepting of new thoughts, which could help you be more successful in the future. 

# Listening Helps You Develop Patience.

As previously mentioned, being able to sit there and listen to someone you don’t agree with is difficult. You will have to have patience.

Sometimes, what a person needs is not a brilliant mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens”.

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And if you haven’t already developed the necessary patience for this task, just the practice of listening to others more often will help you to develop it. If you find you are struggling with the task, try to remember you are listening to learn something new. You can also listen with the intent to ask questions. This will help you focus on the words the other person is saying more carefully.

# You Expand Your Network

People love when others listen to what they have to say, it makes them feel important. When you take the time to listen to someone else, even though you may not agree with what they are saying, you make that person feel better about themselves. And this can help you make a new friend or connection.

This can help you on your path to success in the future as you never know when you may need to know someone in a certain field or area of study. Besides, expanding your network of people is always a good idea.

Overall, listening to someone else who has an opposing viewpoint from yourself will never be an easy task. But when you resolve to listen to someone else, this helps teach you new things and further develops your patience. 

Not only that, but it also helps you to grow your network which could provide unmeasured value to you in your future. Thus, it’s time to learn how to listen to others sooner rather than later if you want to succeed in life. 

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The Top Five Traits of a Good Listener

If you want to become a good listener there are certain traits and skills you will need to learn. Listening is a great skill to develop and it can improve all areas of your life. People love to talk and are always looking for someone to listen to them. So what makes us a good listener?

Here are 5 essential traits:

1. Understand Their Point of View

When listening to someone your goal should be to understand their point of view. Listen to everything they say before forming your own opinion, and remember that you do not necessarily have to agree with them. Everyone deserves, and should form, their own opinions on various topics. Try to look at their point of view and ask yourself if they might be the person who is right. 

2. Pay Attention

Paying attention is the next trait. If you don’t pay attention you will miss out on important information. Always be aware of what is going on with the person who is speaking, and don’t forget to pay attention to your surroundings. 

3. Make Eye Contact

The action of making eye contact with the person who is speaking, shows them that you are paying attention. If you start looking around you, you are giving them the impression that you are not interested, or have become bored. 

4. Allow Them To Finish Talking

Allow the person to finish talking. This often takes a little patience, but it can be helpful for both sides. First the person talking can vent their opinions or frustrations. Secondly it helps the listener to fully understand the issue at hand. 

5. Think Before Responding

A good listener will also think before responding back. Again they often ask what if this person is correct in their way of thinking. People have the bad trait of speaking before thinking and this can lead to all kinds of awkward or difficult situations. 

It is perfectly normal for your brain to want to respond quickly, stop yourself and think before you speak! 

Sometimes it can be hard to stay focused on a person, it is normal to want to look away. If you find yourself doing this try nodding to the person or making direct eye contact with them. This signals to them that you are paying attention. If you really need to look away for a second, then muffle a cough behind your hand! 

Other tips that you might want to use to show that you are paying attention include: 

  • Saying the person’s name now and again
  • Using facial expressions
  • Using body language

If you make an effort to put these five traits into play consistently, you will become a much better listener for it. 

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Speaking Affirmations And Power Poses To Help Build Your Confidence

Affirmations and power poses are a quick way to boost your confidence temporarily before an important event such as a job interview or a big meeting. You can build your confidence permanently using affirmations as well if you practice them regularly.

Here’s how to use these techniques.

Speaking Affirmations

Find a quiet place with a mirror. Look yourself in the eye and repeat any (or all) of these affirmations several times. Speaking them aloud is preferable, but if you can’t find a place where you can be alone and don’t want people to hear, repeat them silently.

I can do this.

I am confident.

I am capable of great things.

I am growing and becoming a better version of myself.

I deserve everything I want from life.

I am competent, capable, and intelligent.

Power Poses

Power poses are ways of standing or sitting that increase your confidence and make you feel like you can take on the world. Check out the following and try them out:

The LBJ -Find a nearby item at waist height, such as a table or chair. Place your hands on it and lean slightly forward. This pose increases your confidence while giving you a sense of power and control over the room.

The Vanna White -Gesture with open arms towards something you are emphasizing. This draws attention and makes you feel in charge, increasing your confidence.

The Standing Power Pose -Stand up straight, hold your head upright, keep your feet planted firmly on the ground, slightly apart, and hold your arms open. This makes you feel and look confident without being intimidating and is good to use in a meeting where you’re a junior person.

The Sitting Power Pose -Sit in the chair with your lumbar curve straight and your head upright. Both your feet should be firmly on the ground. Keep the rest of your posture “open” instead of closed. Do not cross your arms. Look the speaker in the eyes. This is a great pose to use for job interviews.

These are just a few of the many speaking affirmations and power poses you can use to boost your confidence. Not all are applicable or appropriate in every situation (the LBJ isn’t a great one to use for job interviews, for example) and not all of them will work for you. Try them and see which ones you find work best for your personality and situation.