Step Ahead Life Coaching™

Author: Ally

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Personal Growth Self Care Uncategorized

5 Ways To Appreciate Yourself More

woman wearing silver-colored ring

It’s often more challenging to see what we’re doing right than what we’re doing wrong. Even reflecting on our admirable characteristics makes some of us nervous. Appreciation and compliments can make us uncomfortable, and we sometimes don’t know how to react without appearing self-conscious. 

So, how can we positively appreciate our great traits? I suppose the key is self-compassion, which entails treating oneself with compassion, a feeling of shared humanity, and consciousness when we evaluate our apparent shortcomings – but differently. A good way to think about is allowing and embracing “self-appreciation.”

According to LifeHack, “To love yourself is to experience freedom – freedom from doubt, self-hate, and oppression created by you. To love yourself is no longer holding yourself back from what you deserve. To love yourself is to grow and enjoy your life. Self-love is a necessity if you want to live a comfortable life. Self-love is a choice, a commitment to yourself that you will love yourself, despite all the social and biological obstacles in your path. It is not found in a place, person, or item.” 

5 Ways To Appreciate Yourself More

Decide To Do It

Self-appreciation is a decision you have to make yourself; it is not bestowed upon you. It is not found in another person or an item. You get self-appreciation by choosing what you desire. It would be best if you decided to let go of this toxic thinking after a lifetime of loathing yourself for not being enough.

Say no to all of your internal self-hatred and tell yourself the truth: you are not perfect, and that is good. Begin by giving yourself license to appreciate yourself more. Even if you convince yourself otherwise, you are deserving of more appreciation. 

Take time to tell yourself this and permit yourself to enjoy yourself. This is the first step in acknowledging the reality that you can appreciate yourself.

Check Your Negative Beliefs

Disrupt mental patterns that are solely focused on failures and defects. When it comes to self-esteem, our subconscious is not always on our side. 

It takes time and effort to educate your mind into healthy habits, but the first step is to recognize the falsehoods it tells you:

  • Recognize that feeling like a loser does not imply that you are a failure.
  • Examine the evidence to support your findings. Even though the negative thought spiral makes it feel that way, a friend not replying to your text does not indicate they dislike you.
  • Recognize that good happening merit your attention as well. One negative comment should not deter you from appreciating positive feedback.

Compassionately React To Your Blunders And Setbacks

You don’t have to berate yourself for every blunder. According to research, reacting to your own mistakes with compassion boosts your self-esteem and makes you a more competent and resourceful individual. Fight back against the inner critic who distorts reality:

  • There are hardly any things in life that are “all or nothing.” Even if things did not go as planned, it does not imply that nothing good came from it.
  • One setback does not define you for the rest of your life.
  • Call that feeling of pessimism into question by reminding yourself, “Things didn’t go my way, but that doesn’t indicate they always will. I can’t foresee the future.”

Let Go Of The Perfection Ideology

You will never be flawless; no person will ever be. Don’t allow this to prevent you from appreciating yourself. It’s easy to despise oneself for not being perfect or sufficient. However, this leads to self-hatred since you focus on what you do not have rather than what you do have—self-appreciation blossoms in a great attitude, which requires you to appreciate what you have. In a worldview founded in perfection, dubbed “never good enough,” your ability to understand yourself suffers, fades, and dies.

Learn To Say No

Instead of overcommitting, prioritize your personal needs. Respect your boundaries and learn to decline obligations that aren’t worth the stress. The unthinking “yes” in answering any request is a sort of “people-pleasing” action that prioritizes everyone else’s interests before your own.

Categories
Anxiety/Stress Personal Growth

5 Ways To Stop Being Shy

woman covering face with leaves

Are you shy?

Does the thought of speaking in a group have you making up excuses?

Or are you afraid of having a conversation with a new friend?

Shyness is surprisingly very common. Survey results report that about 40 to 60 percent of all adults identify as someone shy. However, like all character traits, shyness can be overcome with the proper steps.

Identify Your Triggers

Nobody is shy all of the time. The odds are that there are situations where you feel relaxed and comfortable.

Identify what makes you shy. It can be speaking in public, asking a lady out, or simply being alone in a crowded space.

When you identify the triggers for your shyness, you can plan a course of action for when such situations arise. You will also plan on ways to overcome them.

These triggers can be especially hard to identify in most cases. It might be a smell, a location, or even a sound. However, it is crucial to do so as it is the first step to overcoming your shyness.

Be Informed

If you dread speaking to a crowd or having small talks, you can increase your odds of not turning such an experience into a social disaster when you read about the topic.

If you are shy of being at a party because you fear you’ll be the odd thumb, you could read on current happenings, watch a trending video, or research on a recent event. This way, you are well informed about an issue and can chip into discussions or start one yourself. 

If you’re shy, it’s likely to get even worse when everyone is talking about an event you are unfamiliar with. Staying up to date with events would help boost your confidence in social situations as you can engage with people and enlighten anyone who isn’t in the know.

Set Goals

While you want to be like the super confident kid who seamlessly navigates the social setting and seems to make a new friend every time they step out of their house, it’ll be more helpful if you aim a bit lower at first. 

You can begin by finding out your trigger and creating an action plan to overcome it. If you are shy when called to speak in public, you could start by addressing five of your friends and slowly increase the number until you overcome that trait. Create simple goals and work your way to the top.

Record Your Successes

It’s a good idea to keep track of the successes you’ve made in overcoming shyness and frequently read it when you feel you can’t achieve a set milestone.

Odds are that you will be surprised by how far you’ve come, which will further increase your belief that overcoming shyness is possible. Psychologists state that reading how far you have progressed is a great way to stay motivated and keep trying. 

Be Kind To Yourself And Take It Slow

You wouldn’t suddenly get rid of shyness and become super confident after a few days of practicing these steps. No one gets rid of shyness overnight. As long as you’re taking steps to become better, you should reward yourself. 

Take as long as you need to get rid of shyness, and do not try to rush yourself. Rushing the steps or beating yourself over being “slow” will only delay the process and can make you stop trying. 

In summary, shy people tend to spend a lot of time “inside their own heads,” and it is easy to distort experiences. You might assume that your shyness not only stopped you from having a good time but ruined the event for everyone else. The chances of that being true is extremely slim.

Don’t beat yourself up over it and take as long as you need to overcome it. With consistency and determination, you’ll get rid of it in no time.

Categories
Uncategorized

Tips For A Joyful Retirement

two blue beach chairs near body of water

Retirement blesses us with time to do what we truly desire. We’re free to follow our hearts true desire and find joy while doing so. However, finding joy in retirement goes beyond finding a beach house to recline or having more free time than you know what to do with it. Here are 6 important tips for a joyful retirement.

Cut Spending By Budgeting

A lot has been said concerning money and happiness. While money doesn’t equate to happiness, its one vital component for a joyful retirement. A study by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College on what makes retirees happy reaffirms the importance of money. 

Most people go on a spending spree the minute they get their retirement money and then end up without a penny few months later. You need to budget your money and spend wisely as there wouldn’t be any monthly pay checks anymore. 

Maintain a Daily Routine

Indeed one of retirement’s most enticing benefits is the freedom to do whatever you desire. However, it’s easy to fall into an unhealthy pattern which might be detrimental to your health. To prevent this, doctors recommend following a healthy daily routine. 

Incorporate all the activities you love into the routine as well as other healthy activities recommended by your doctor. Doing this would help you avoid the feeling of purposelessness most retirees admit to feeling few months into retirement.

Stay in Touch

A study by the University of Chicago showed that extreme loneliness increases a retiree’s chances of early death by as much as 14%. Being retired takes you out of the majority of your social networks and cuts down on the amount of human connection we make daily. 

Extra effort should be put into staying in touch with a thriving social community as the effects of extreme loneliness can be deadly. This can be your family, former colleagues, Faith groups, group affiliations, or by community volunteering.

Stay Active

Very different from staying in touch, staying active entails playing a role. It can be in the family, your house of faith or the community. Staying active offers a twofold benefit as it helps you socialize and gives you a sense of purpose. Doctors say both are vital to the happiness and well-being of a retiree.

Stay Fit By Exercising 

While exercise is important at all periods in our lives, it’s even more necessary when you’re retired. Exercising the body is important to both your physical and mental well-being. Research has shown that frequent exercise helps wards off several health issues and boosts your energy levels. The National Institute on Aging (NIA) recommends four types of exercise for retirees.

Train Your Brain

Most people go into retirement thankful for the endless hours of free time they’ll have and anticipating just how they’ll spend those hours. Most might decide to pursue an abandoned hobby, read books, or learn new things. 

These lofty aspirations most times get abandoned a few months into retirement. However, researchers at the Harvard Medical School have proven several times that tasking your brain has unending benefits. It keeps your memory strong and keeps your brain functioning at high levels.

This can be reading a book, painting, doing puzzles, or learning a new skill. Asides the apparent benefit of tasking your brain, the joy and sense of progress when you chase these pursuits has its own benefits. 

You could join a community or group that shares similar passions and enjoy create new social connections. A group has the added advantage of pushing you past your comfort zone which is great for stimulating the brain.

It’s possible to have a joyful retirement. All it requires is some effort to continually do the right thing. When you make these correct lifestyle choices, you’ll be set to enjoy a joyful retirement filled with happiness and purpose.

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