Anxiety/Stress Personal Growth

5 Ways To Stop Being Shy

Are you shy?

Does the thought of speaking in a group have you making up excuses?

Or are you afraid of having a conversation with a new friend?

Shyness is surprisingly very common. Survey results report that about 40 to 60 percent of all adults identify as someone shy. However, like all character traits, shyness can be overcome with the proper steps.

Identify Your Triggers

Nobody is shy all of the time. The odds are that there are situations where you feel relaxed and comfortable.

Identify what makes you shy. It can be speaking in public, asking a lady out, or simply being alone in a crowded space.

When you identify the triggers for your shyness, you can plan a course of action for when such situations arise. You will also plan on ways to overcome them.

These triggers can be especially hard to identify in most cases. It might be a smell, a location, or even a sound. However, it is crucial to do so as it is the first step to overcoming your shyness.

Be Informed

If you dread speaking to a crowd or having small talks, you can increase your odds of not turning such an experience into a social disaster when you read about the topic.

If you are shy of being at a party because you fear you’ll be the odd thumb, you could read on current happenings, watch a trending video, or research on a recent event. This way, you are well informed about an issue and can chip into discussions or start one yourself. 

If you’re shy, it’s likely to get even worse when everyone is talking about an event you are unfamiliar with. Staying up to date with events would help boost your confidence in social situations as you can engage with people and enlighten anyone who isn’t in the know.

Set Goals

While you want to be like the super confident kid who seamlessly navigates the social setting and seems to make a new friend every time they step out of their house, it’ll be more helpful if you aim a bit lower at first. 

You can begin by finding out your trigger and creating an action plan to overcome it. If you are shy when called to speak in public, you could start by addressing five of your friends and slowly increase the number until you overcome that trait. Create simple goals and work your way to the top.

Record Your Successes

It’s a good idea to keep track of the successes you’ve made in overcoming shyness and frequently read it when you feel you can’t achieve a set milestone.

Odds are that you will be surprised by how far you’ve come, which will further increase your belief that overcoming shyness is possible. Psychologists state that reading how far you have progressed is a great way to stay motivated and keep trying. 

Be Kind To Yourself And Take It Slow

You wouldn’t suddenly get rid of shyness and become super confident after a few days of practicing these steps. No one gets rid of shyness overnight. As long as you’re taking steps to become better, you should reward yourself. 

Take as long as you need to get rid of shyness, and do not try to rush yourself. Rushing the steps or beating yourself over being “slow” will only delay the process and can make you stop trying. 

In summary, shy people tend to spend a lot of time “inside their own heads,” and it is easy to distort experiences. You might assume that your shyness not only stopped you from having a good time but ruined the event for everyone else. The chances of that being true is extremely slim.

Don’t beat yourself up over it and take as long as you need to overcome it. With consistency and determination, you’ll get rid of it in no time.


4 Key Life Skills To Reduce Stress

Not long ago, most households were maintaining schedules (work and school), social commitments, and family time. Daily life was filled with ups and downs. Simply put, stress was a part of everyone’s reality. Then, in the beginning of 2020, stress took on a whole new meaning. 

Relatively overnight, the world quickly shut down. Schools and business industries closed their doors. Parents were home, full time with their children. While at first this was seen as a positive, over the months, families became restless and less assured of normalcy again. 

In fact, burnout has become the overall most experienced emotion felt by adults due to the pandemic. A recent report from Forbes magazine showed, “52 percent of survey respondents are experiencing burnout in 2021 – up from 43 percent pre-Covid.” To quiet down the stress of daily life, one must understand their own behavior first. 

The following four key life skills will allow you to remain more focused and determined in this ever-changing world:

Keep the stress externalized :

After a long day at the office, nothing can feel as stressful as going home to care for family or children. Cooking dinner and helping with homework can leave parents feeling worn out and mentally depleted. The only self-care they are allowing themselves is pajamas and brushing their teeth.

While this is acceptable on a short-term basis, neglecting oneself can lead to other negative behaviors and neglect in overall health. In short order, stress becomes the only factor, both mentally and physically. By keeping the stress “at the door,” staying focused on personal health and well-being become the top priority once again.

Many employers have a policy, “Leave your personal problems at the door.” No business wants an employee that cannot be focused and productive. While most have adapted to this approach, working adults often take their work problems home.

This leads to unwanted discouragement from partners or children. Instead, apply the same “policy” to your home life. Allow the disconnect from work when you arrive home. Focus on your family and down time. Tomorrow will still come. Be thankful that your biggest supporters are right at home waiting for your safe and healthy return. 

Write down your personal stress triggers:

The word stress may only be six little letters, but its impact has a way of sneaking into every aspect of your life without letting go. It cannot be seen or heard, only felt, both physically and mentally.

By the time we become adults, our personal fears and mental triggers have become well established. Subconsciously, the brain keeps track of these negative stimulants to react to future unexpected stress triggers.

Instead of trying to balance all the “emotional” balls, write them down. By visually accepting the realities of your personal anxieties, this will allow for a more focused approach to finding a positive solution instead of an emotional one.

Start with recognizable triggers. Running behind in the mornings, finding time to eat during the day, obligations to house chores, etc. Expand on those emotional stressors. 

How do they make you feel, how you normally respond and usual outcomes. After completing the list, read back over each trigger. Place yourself in “third party” mode. How would advise yourself on how to optimize each task or moment. Is there a better approach to handling these unwanted pressures. 

Conclude with how you will manage each trigger going forward. Place this list in a place you can actively review it each day.

Mastering flexibility:

Each person has their own set of fears, stressors, and comfort levels when it comes to daily life. Some people are comfortable with large groups where others feel more confident one on one. Public speaking is a breeze for various individuals, where the masses tend to shy away from that stressor when possible. In simpler terms, we are all unique. 

Without bending slightly, society could not be productive. When remaining rigid and unhearing, tempers begin to take center stage, eventually leading to undue stress. By listening to others’ ideas and opinions, this allows for a more open and honest conversation and resolution. 

Some might say that co-workers can be frustrating and unyielding. While each person has a role in the company, team spirit tends to be lower on the totem pole. Americans spend an average of eight to ten hours a day with peers in a work environment according to the Atlantic newspaper

This is a great place to practice flexibility. Instead of demanding your way, suggest working as a group to tackle the project. This leaves others feeling included and more eager to contribute.

Organizing your personal space:

When schedules are so busy and not enough time in the day to do chores or personal cares, it is time to step back. While cleaning out the spare closet might be on your to do list, focus on the rooms and spaces you use the most.

Kitchens, bathrooms, bedrooms, even vehicles, are all environments you spend a lot of time in and utilize. By neglecting these areas, this can cause more stress and less motivation to get it cleaned up. Instead, give each room a thorough scrub and simply maintain its cleanliness afterwards. Use the extra time to cook up a nutritious meal for your family and relax.

A clean personal space is necessary to remain focused and less distracted. If time is not on your side, keep a calendar. Each person in the family will have one. Allow children to use colorful stickers or pom poms to mark off their daily chores. 

For the adults, give yourself a small reward, such as a hot cup of coffee or a warm shower. The mind will remain focused on the goal and before you know it, the chores are done. Over time, these tasks will become habit and less stressful when needing a monthly clean. 

In Conclusion

While stress will always be a part of life, controlling its effects on you is the best defense. By remaining calm and vigilant, others will respond in trust and admiration. As American author and philosopher William James once said, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

Anxiety/Stress Mindset/Strenghts Self Care

Why You Should Actively Seek to Improve Your Mood

There are many reasons why you should actively seek to improve your mood. The most obvious is to feel good about yourself.

Other reasons are probably not as obvious to you. Although, they’re pretty obvious to your mental and physical health.

Let’s talk about some of these reasons and how they can influence everything that goes on in our lives.

Improve Your Mental Health

Your mental wellness affects your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. It helps reduce stress, as well as help you cope with challenges and setbacks.

Having strong mental health doesn’t mean the absence of anxiety, fears, and worries. A natural part of living is going through difficult time occasionally.

Yet, when you’re in good shape mentally and emotionally, you bounce back faster. You have the tools needed to face all these things head-on with confidence and resilience.

Being resilient means you stay flexible and focused when life throws you a curveball. You have confidence in your abilities to deal with whatever the future has in store.

Here are some extra perks that come when you boost your mental wellbeing and improve your mood.

  • You have a sense of contentment with life in general
  • You maintain a hearty dose of confidence and self-esteem
  • You see opportunities where others see none
  • You enjoy living and can laugh at yourself
  • You balance work and play
  • You build healthy relationships

Polish Up on Your Social Skills

We’re social creatures. We are need some social interaction and when we feel connected to others, we thrive.

This doesn’t mean we have to be surrounded by people all the time every day. It just means that our brains crave companionship in varying degrees.

Yes, you can always call or text. They certainly have their place and time in our busy, hectic lives.

Still, nothing beats the mood-boosting power of sitting down with family or friends. That quality face-to-face time is priceless.

You sit, you talk, and you listen — pretty basic right? But for your brain, it’s revolutionary!

Here’s why: studies show that our brains are wired for connectivity. Certain areas of our brains light up when we do volunteer work or spend some time with a friend.

Not only that, but the brain rewards us for being socially outgoing. It does so by signaling the release of two happy hormones, oxytocin, and serotonin. So, by being out with your partner, friends, or even colleagues, you’re actively seeking ways to improve your mood.

You should also make the most of those fleeting encounters you have with strangers each day. Make a point of looking your neighbor in the eye as you wish them a good day.

Look up from what you’re doing and take a couple of seconds to thank the barista or the cashier. You can even add a smile to go with it.

Despite taking mere seconds out of your day, those little acts of kindness are terrific mood boosters. They’ll do wonders for your day and theirs!

Stay Fit

The link between the mind and body is complementary. When you take care of your physical health, you’re nourishing your mental well-being.

Anytime you exercise for at least 20 minutes, your brain releases endorphins. These are one of the four happy chemicals that help stabilize your mood and boost energy levels.

Regular physical activity also has a big impact on your memory and concentration. Plus, it relieves stress and promotes better sleep.

The trick is to find an activity you like and do it several times a week. Take a walk, cycle, throw a Frisbee with your dog—the point is to enjoy what you’re doing.

Better still, find a group of friends and be active in a group. This will hold you accountable, boost your motivation, and improve your mood.

Regulate Stress Levels

Almost everyone on the planet knows by now that stress is a major problem – and it affects our emotional, mental and physical well-being.

We also know that stress can’t be avoided, especially in this busy day and age. However, certain stress management strategies can help regulate stress in your life.

These tactics allow you to cope with life’s ups and downs. They allow you to improve your mood and feel good about yourself.

Try reducing your stress by practising some of the following:

  • Enhance the quality of your sleep
  • Eat mood-enhancing foods, such as fresh fruits, fatty fish, nuts, avocados, and beans
  • Practice relaxation techniques, like mindful meditation, yoga, and deep breathing
  • Make time for yourself and do something you enjoy
  • Find somewhere to sit at a local park and soak in some sunshine
  • Laugh more