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Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth

5 Things I Learned From Overcoming Conflict

Conflicts are a normal part of life and they tend to happen in virtually every setting. Oftentimes, we avoid conflicts because they make us tense and anxious.

They bring up a lot of self-doubt and discomfort, which typically results in raised voices, increased heart rate, and saying things we don’t really mean.

Even worse, it leads to feelings getting hurt and, sometimes, to relationships being destroyed. No wonder we hate conflicts!

That’s why learning how to resolve conflicts peacefully can be life-changing. In fact, the more we expose ourselves to conflicts, the better we handle any situation, which helps us become more resilient.

So, to help you address conflicts the right way, here are five things I learned from overcoming conflict.

1. Teaches Us to Respect Other Viewpoints

The reason there’s a conflict in the first person is that there are two opposing viewpoints. But most times neither side gets heard properly, which leads to an altercation, even escalating to major problems.

This is why negotiations are so important, even if you’re confronting a loved one. It shows that we’re willing to be flexible and more open to accept the other person’s opinions.

Of course, that certainly does not mean that you must agree with them. It just means you have to be willing to learn how to be prepared to accept them and move on.

2. Gives Us a Chance to Verbalize Our Needs

People often take for granted who we are as individuals, even those closest to us. This stems from our lack of verbalizing what it is we want or need.

So, we carry grudges and bottle everything inside until we can’t take it anymore. That’s when conflicts arise.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to look at conflicts as an opportunity. It gives you the chance to voice your opinions and share your feelings. As a result, you become less fearful of asking for what you need.

3. Improves Our Communication Skills

Being a good communicator requires patience and self-control. As with most things in life, the more you practice good communication skills, the better you become.

And the best way to practice is through confrontations, no matter how hard they may seem. Yet, you have to look beyond the fear and be willing to share our thoughts and feelings in a calm, collected way.

You’ll quickly realize that the right words just flow out. So, when the need arises, you can prepare for what lies ahead.

4. Makes Us Better Listeners

The key to overcoming conflicts is to be a better listener. Many times we’re so focused on what we’re going to say next that we don’t really pay attention to what the other person is saying.

That’s not the way to successfully win an argument or resolve a conflict.

To do that, you have to learn how to do things. First, you have to control your impulse to react and blurt out things haphazardly.

The second thing is to learn how to actively listen when someone talks to you. It’s through listening that you can gain a better understanding of the speaker, which enables you to make smarter, wiser choices.

5. Opens Our Eyes to New Ideas

One of the ways conflicts can be a useful tool is by allowing you to fine-tune your opinions and ideas. As different thoughts are expressed, how you look at things changes slightly.

When you hear someone talking about their viewpoint with regards to a certain topic, you can’t help but clarify your own. You either start modifying your opinion, or you become even more convinced of yours.

A third option is to take part of your ideas and part of theirs and come up with a whole new concept!

That’s the beauty of conflicts. They allow you to generate new ideas and mold new perspectives.

Then, when you realize there are more similarities than differences, you forge a bond. This bond leads the way to establishing trust and enhancing networking. Case in point, it just makes both sides better human beings.

Categories
Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth

5 Tips To Stop Avoiding Your Problems

According to VeryWellMind,”Procrastination, passive-aggressiveness, and rumination are examples of unhelpful coping mechanisms that we may consciously or unconsciously use to avoid tackling a tough issue or facing thoughts and feelings that are uncomfortable.”

The world is a difficult place. Things are moving quicker than ever before, and issues appear to erupt from nowhere. Each day, we fight a plethora of conflicts, and it’s all too easy to become exhausted. 

The turmoil might drive a person to flee from the troubles they are experiencing. Regrettably, if you strive to do this all the time, you’ll spend your whole life running and hiding from your problems. 

They will ultimately sneak up to you. So, how can we successfully tackle our issues and move toward a future where we are no longer afraid of them? Here are some ideas to help you quit running away from your troubles.

Divide Your Problems Into Tiny Steps

Greenberg, author of the book The Stress-Proof Brain, advises working through the easiest phases first after splitting the problem into manageable sections. 

She gives the following example when you are putting off looking for a new job. You divide this large process into “updating your résumé, finding and contacting references, studying the positions you desire, speaking with individuals you know who work in the field, and so on.”

Make Use Of Your Support System

Our support network is an underappreciated asset. Do you feel alone? Do you feel overwhelmed by your problems and cannot find an anchor? Do you get the impression that no one cares about you and that no one is eager to assist you? 

If you do, you should have a look around. I am confident that there is someone who would be delighted to assist you in overcoming this obstacle. Remember that we encounter a slew of issues on a daily basis. There is no need for you to believe that you must solve all of them on your own. This might lead to feelings of stress, which can contribute to you fleeing from your problems.

If your support system is lacking then get to work! Reach out and create one that works for you. 

Make A Plan

According to Lifehack, “If you’re asking yourself how to stop running away from problems, one thing to think about is whether or not you have a plan. Have you thought about how you’ll tackle the issue? Often, we run from our problems because we don’t know how to solve them. However, just because we don’t know how to confront the issue right now and it seems overwhelming, doesn’t mean that we can’t spend some time to process it and come up with a solution. Taking some time to learn about the problem and how others have overcome it in the past is a great way to start. Wherever you go for information, make sure that your sources are accurate.”

Make Yourself Accountable

For example, if you’re attempting to better manage your spending and food intake, you should keep track of how much you eat you’re spending and what you’re spending it on. 

Ask others to help you be accountable. Share your goals with others and the steps you are taking to work through your problems. Ask these people to keep an eye out and ask you about your progress. And make sure that you update them about your progress on your own. 

Running Away Is Not A Viable Long-Term Solution

This is most likely the most crucial aspect of learning how to quit running away from issues. It’s admitting that fleeing isn’t a long-term option. And no matter what time or far you flee, you can never really run from your problems. 

Running away from problems is a common way for us to try to avoid them; it’s a protective strategy. Running, however, does not completely shield us from anything. Avoidance solves none of our problems. It has never done so in the past, and it will never do so in the future. 

Facing our problems is the only way to solve them. This may take time, courage, effort and commitment, but in the end, they are solved and no longer a burden on your emotional and mental health. And, as an added super bonus, overcoming those problems helps you to build inner strength and resilience. 

Categories
Personal Growth Self Care Uncategorized

5 Ways To Appreciate Yourself More

It’s often more challenging to see what we’re doing right than what we’re doing wrong. Even reflecting on our admirable characteristics makes some of us nervous. Appreciation and compliments can make us uncomfortable, and we sometimes don’t know how to react without appearing self-conscious. 

So, how can we positively appreciate our great traits? I suppose the key is self-compassion, which entails treating oneself with compassion, a feeling of shared humanity, and consciousness when we evaluate our apparent shortcomings – but differently. A good way to think about is allowing and embracing “self-appreciation.”

According to LifeHack, “To love yourself is to experience freedom – freedom from doubt, self-hate, and oppression created by you. To love yourself is no longer holding yourself back from what you deserve. To love yourself is to grow and enjoy your life. Self-love is a necessity if you want to live a comfortable life. Self-love is a choice, a commitment to yourself that you will love yourself, despite all the social and biological obstacles in your path. It is not found in a place, person, or item.” 

5 Ways To Appreciate Yourself More

Decide To Do It

Self-appreciation is a decision you have to make yourself; it is not bestowed upon you. It is not found in another person or an item. You get self-appreciation by choosing what you desire. It would be best if you decided to let go of this toxic thinking after a lifetime of loathing yourself for not being enough.

Say no to all of your internal self-hatred and tell yourself the truth: you are not perfect, and that is good. Begin by giving yourself license to appreciate yourself more. Even if you convince yourself otherwise, you are deserving of more appreciation. 

Take time to tell yourself this and permit yourself to enjoy yourself. This is the first step in acknowledging the reality that you can appreciate yourself.

Check Your Negative Beliefs

Disrupt mental patterns that are solely focused on failures and defects. When it comes to self-esteem, our subconscious is not always on our side. 

It takes time and effort to educate your mind into healthy habits, but the first step is to recognize the falsehoods it tells you:

  • Recognize that feeling like a loser does not imply that you are a failure.
  • Examine the evidence to support your findings. Even though the negative thought spiral makes it feel that way, a friend not replying to your text does not indicate they dislike you.
  • Recognize that good happening merit your attention as well. One negative comment should not deter you from appreciating positive feedback.

Compassionately React To Your Blunders And Setbacks

You don’t have to berate yourself for every blunder. According to research, reacting to your own mistakes with compassion boosts your self-esteem and makes you a more competent and resourceful individual. Fight back against the inner critic who distorts reality:

  • There are hardly any things in life that are “all or nothing.” Even if things did not go as planned, it does not imply that nothing good came from it.
  • One setback does not define you for the rest of your life.
  • Call that feeling of pessimism into question by reminding yourself, “Things didn’t go my way, but that doesn’t indicate they always will. I can’t foresee the future.”

Let Go Of The Perfection Ideology

You will never be flawless; no person will ever be. Don’t allow this to prevent you from appreciating yourself. It’s easy to despise oneself for not being perfect or sufficient. However, this leads to self-hatred since you focus on what you do not have rather than what you do have—self-appreciation blossoms in a great attitude, which requires you to appreciate what you have. In a worldview founded in perfection, dubbed “never good enough,” your ability to understand yourself suffers, fades, and dies.

Learn To Say No

Instead of overcommitting, prioritize your personal needs. Respect your boundaries and learn to decline obligations that aren’t worth the stress. The unthinking “yes” in answering any request is a sort of “people-pleasing” action that prioritizes everyone else’s interests before your own.