Step Ahead Life Coaching™

Author: Ally

Categories
Anxiety/Stress

6 Things You Can Do Right Now to Change Your Life and Stop Worrying

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Worry gets in to all the crevices of our lives. We worry about our jobs, our kids, our relationships, money, and a million other things every single day. It’s no wonder we feel like we’re not getting things done the way we’d like.

Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be this way. To change your life and stop worrying, ask yourself these quick questions:

What Are You Really Worried About?

Many times, worry is a mask for something else entirely. A hard look and some pointed questions might be necessary to get to the heart of the matter. On the other hand, once you have a clear understanding of what the real issue is, it’s easier to address the problem and stamp out the worry completely.

Is This Even Possible?

Worry inflates everything to monster proportions. If your worry seems slightly ridiculous, it probably is. Take a step back and ask yourself just how likely this outcome is. Worry can’t stand up under this kind of scrutiny.

Is This Something I can Control?

We have become so good at worrying about the things we can’t change. Seriously, what difference does it make if it snows tomorrow? Nothing we do can keep the flakes from falling. Accept sometimes you’re just going to have to go with the flow and adapt to the circumstances.

Does this Affect Me Today?

Worries about the future can really derail your life today. If you’re worried about something far off, it’s time to take a step back. Ask yourself a fundamental follow-up question if you’re concerned about the future: “Is there something I can do today that will prevent this outcome tomorrow?” If so, now you have a plan of action. Get to it!

Am I Spending Too Much Time?

Obsessive worry doesn’t help anyone. If you find yourself circling back to the same concern over and over, you might need help breaking out of this cycle. Consider talking to someone, such as a good friend or even a counselor or trained professional, to help you break out of this vicious cycle.

Why Do I Care What Others Think?

If you’re worried about the opinions of others, why? If you’re concerned about impressing your boss, there are better ways to do this than worrying. More often than not, though, you’re going to find most people’s opinions really don’t matter. Don’t let them get to you.

Once you have the answers to these questions, you’ll find it’s easy to get your thoughts back on track. Worry becomes a thing of the past when we’re mindful of it, and don’t let it become obsessive. Imagine the difference a life without so much worry will make.

I used to be a worrywart – I would worry about everything! And that’s not a fun way to spend your day.

But, gradually I became increasingly aware of what this was doing to me and those around me and I began to work on changing this self-destructive habit. So if you are caught in the trap of anxiety and constantly worrying about things that you may or not be able to change, I’d love to help:) You can schedule a time for us to chat here

You can check out the video version of this blog below

Categories
Personal Growth

6 Signs You Might Be Suffering from Imposter Syndrome and What to Do About It

Do you suffer from a suspicion you might be a big fraud and everyone’s going to find out? It’s natural to sometimes feel inadequate but you could be suffering from a much more serious ailment known as imposter syndrome. 

What Is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is the internal belief that you’re not as competent as others think you are. It manifests itself when people give you praise or positive feedback. You might feel undeserving, even though all the evidence suggests that you’re highly skilled. At its worst, you may feel like a fraud.

The concept was first coined in the 1970s by psychologists to describe an experience often felt by athletes and business executives. They discovered that even the most recognized individuals often failed to understand their worth,  which could cause performance problems.

Imposter syndrome can cause a great deal of damage to your work, career, and personal life, so it’s important to recognize the signs early and take action to stop it.

Minimizing Your Achievements 

People with imposter syndrome truly believe achievements are not a big deal. When someone praises you, you instinctually rebut it and deep down truly don’t believe that you’re deserving. You may automatically point out the contributions of others to minimize what you did. 

Chalking It Up to Luck

People with imposter syndrome attribute their accomplishments to luck. They overstate the role chance plays in their lives, missing completely the skill and hard work that really made it all happen. 

An Impossible Standard of Success

You may set an impossibly high standard of success for yourself and then feel that you don’t deserve to achieve it. One way to tell if this is an issue is to detrmine whether you feel fear or anxiety when you think about the goals you want to reach. This is a symptom of the perfectionism that’s often at the core of imposter syndrome. 

Fear You’re Not Measuring up

People with imposter syndrome often secretly fear they don’t measure up to other’s expectations. These could be the expectations of your boss at work, your family members, or even friends and business partners. No matter how often they confirm that you’re doing a great job, you feel like it’s never enough. 

You’re on the ‘Imposter Cycle’

The imposter cycle is a pattern that starts with anxiety leading to intense over-preparation and planning. Driven by the fear of not doing a looming task well, you go through a frantic process of preparing.This may be accompanied by procrastination and excuse-making. When the project is accomplished, you feel a momentary sense of satisfaction until you think of the next undertaking.

You Don’t Ask What You’re Worth

When you don’t understand your true worth, you don’t ask for what you deserve. This includes the pay you should be receiving. The feeling of inadequacy will impede your need to ask for a raise, quote your services, or make any other kind of big ask. 

10 Tips to Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

  1. Know the Signs. You’ve learned the signs here, so you can put this to use right now. Pay attention to your words and actions and interrogate the feelings that arise. Where are they coming from and why?
  2. Fight Imposter Syndrome with Facts. The negative feelings you feel aren’t based on reality. Looking at the facts can help. Gather evidence that shows how much progress you’ve made and how much you’ve achieved then surround yourself with it when you need a reminder. 
  3. Share Your Feelings. You’re not the only one who feels this way. Did you know that such obvious high-achievers as Michelle Obama and Maya Angelou have expressed these same feelings? Reach out to others who think themselves inadequate and share your feelings. This will help you put things in perspective. 
  4. Learn To Not Compare. Imposter feelings often arise from erroneously comparing ourselves to others. Remember that all of us are different and we all have our own paths. Avoid comparing yourself to others. 
  5. Celebrate Your Successes. If you suffer from imposter syndrome, you’re focusing on your failures and shortcomings rather than your successes. Remind yourself of the exceptional things you’ve achieved. 
  6. List up Your Strengths. Make a list of your skills, qualifications, experience, and natural strengths. Use this list to boost your confidence whenever you need it.
  7. Switch Negative to Positive. We often have negative self-talk driving our feelings of insecurity. Recognize the negative talk and replace it with something positive. 
  8. Reframe Failure. What does “failure” mean to you? Reframe it so that it’s not something bad, but a valuable learning experience. 
  9. Visualize Success. What would success look like? Imagine what it means to you and visualize yourself making it. This will help you with setting impossible standards and being more satisfied with your achievements.
  10. Let Go of Perfectionism. Focus on your progress and growth. Quit trying to be perfect. Adjust your standards and learn to do “good enough” while striving to do better.

Want to learn more about how you can fight imposter syndrome? Head over here and let’s have a chat:)

Categories
Personal Growth

6 Ways to Overcome Criticism and Achieve Your Goals

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Taking a step of faith or making a courageous decision for yourself can be a difficult and intimidating journey.

The negative Nancy’s in your life only make the journey that much more challenging and difficult. These are the individuals who instantly dismiss all of your ideas and put you down.

You do not need their pessimism, nor do you have to deal with it. There are several ways to deal with these individuals so you can move past them and crush your goals.

#1 Distance Yourself from the Negative

If possible, put as much distance as you can between those people and your goals and objectives. Continually listening to doubt will eventually manifest into challenging yourself. Have an open discussion with a doubter if you find it difficult to detach yourself from them. Let them know that although their support and encouragement is not required, their discouragement is not acceptable. Be polite but firm.

#2 Bolster Yourself with Support

Once you have pushed away the negative, bring in the support. Surrounding yourself with people that believe in your goals will allow you to be yourself and unapologetically go after what you want. The support you receive from others will act as reassurance on the path you are taking, and they will help pick you up when times are tough.

#3 No Justification Necessary

You do not have to justify yourself, your goals, or the path you are taking to anyone. Everyone is different, no two people live identical lives or achieve their goals in the same ways. If someone questions you, simply say, “This is what I choose.”

#4 Don’t Share

If you know someone you will need to be around think you are crazy for going after your goal in a big way, don’t give them ammunition. Avoid talking about your plans around them. Take the conversation in a different direction and talk about a different topic if they try to bring it up

#5 Turn Doubt into Motivation

When someone doubts you, take it as inspiration and use their doubt as motivation. Maybe that means making a wager or promising yourself that you’ll prove him or her wrong. In either case, resist letting other people’s negativity drag you down. Most likely, it doesn’t really matter what they think anyway.

#6 Embrace Solitude and Reflection

Maintaining your effort to reach your goals can occasionally feel lonely Allow yourself some quiet time to consider your objectives, your progress, and perhaps if you need to re-evaluate your action plan. This quiet time alone will also fill you up and allow for the emergence of fresh inspiration and thoughts and ideas.

Naysayers are everywhere in life. They are in your family, at work, and maybe even within your group of friends. You do not have to spend the rest of your life adhering to their ideas however. With persistent willpower, you can rise above their negativity and achieve all of your aspirations and dreams.

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