Step Ahead Life Coaching™

Tag: change

Categories
Chaos / Upheaval Relationships

3 Things You Should do For Your Significant Other When the World Seems Out of Control

You have someone you love dearly, who loves you in return. Life looks good. 
Until it doesn’t.

Disaster strikes.

Sudden chaos and upheaval has spun your world out of control.

Everything you’ve worked so hard to build is about to come crashing down around you.

Even if the crisis has absolutely nothing to do with the two of you, this kind of upheaval can put an immense strain on a relationship. Tempers flare. Unresolved issues crop up all over again. If you’re not careful, things can fall apart very quickly, which is why it’s so essential to do the next three things immediately.

1 Become a Safe Place

Regardless of whether this crisis is theirs or something affecting you both, you’re going to have to take the same approach. You need to be someone the other person can count on. You’re here to be their partner, even in the tough times. The other person needs to feel like they can come to you with what they’re feeling and thinking entirely without judgment. If ever there was a time to be your loving best, it’s right now when you hold them through this upheaval.

 

2 Stay Calm

Once they trust you to be there for them, your next goal is to master your own emotions. You might be upset, angry, sad, worried, anxious, or a whole host of other things. You can even express that you’re feeling these things to your loved one (they’ll probably appreciate knowing they’re not the only ones feeling this way).

But you absolutely cannot be reacting emotionally. Here’s where you have to clamp down on your gut reaction and instead find a keen interest in what’s going on around you. Having a clear head is one of the best things you can give them right now, but you’ll never manage if you’re over-emotional.

3 Help Sort Things Out

Now that you’ve gotten a handle on the facts, it’s time to work together on an action plan. Your next goal? Be the one to strike a balance. Help them to see the situation clearly. Be someone who can help give a little perspective. Once a plan is made, be ready to help carry it out.
The world might feel like it’s spiraling out of control, but with these three steps, you can protect your relationship with your significant other and show them you truly are a team going forward. By doing this, you’re reminding them just how much you love them and how much you are on their side. Especially now when times are tough.

 

Have you been experiencing emotional pain and trauma since Covid 19 changed our world for ever? I can help! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you out of your moment of chaos and onto a clear path to getting things back on track to normal. Contact me today to arrange a free clarity call.

Categories
Mindset/Strenghts Self Esteem/Self Confidence

6 Signs That You Are A Chronic Procrastinator

Let he who is blameless cast the first stone… deafening silence.

We are all guilty of procrastinating but to varying degrees. Is it having such a serious impact on your life that it’s starting to affect your happiness and ability to succeed? There are signs that may indicate your procrastination problem is a chronic one.

Do any of these signs sound like you?  

 

# Difficulty Coping When Faced With Change 

Do you feel aimless and anxious when a project comes to an end? Do you find it difficult to get into another project? Do you find that days, perhaps weeks, will pass before you can motivate yourself to dive in? This isn’t just detrimental to the optimal efficiency of a business, it can also be harmful when you face your home life this way. 

 

# You Feel Overwhelmed 

When you face a new project, do you feel overwhelmed by its size? Do you find it difficult to determine where to start? Do you have trouble finding the trees in the forest? If this is you then there’s a good chance that you put off starting your task because then you won’t need to worry about the stress it brings. There’s one big problem with that… your stress will just increase the longer you avoid it and the project isn’t going to go away. 

# You Are Always Late 

If there’s one thing, we can rely on a chronic procrastinator to do its turn up late. That’s right, they’re not known for being punctual, probably because they fail to determine how long particular tasks actually take. They tend to be late for meetings and often miss deadlines or just make it. 

 

# Your To Do List Is Ridiculous 

Do you dutifully set about crafting your to do list every morning and then tick each item off as you complete it? You seem very organized, but for some reason, your list is getting longer and fewer ticks are appearing. You may be a procrastinator, but you also may be over stuffing your list and making your life more difficult. 

 

# Your Priorities Are All Wrong 

You feel as though you’re making headway but looking back what is it that you actually managed to achieve? You’ve indulged in trivial tasks rather than focusing on items of high priority, but no one can accuse you of being lazy or wasting time. Right? It doesn’t feel like procrastination when you’re achieving something… but, it is.

 

# Difficulty Making Decisions

Another sign of chronic procrastination is the inability to decide on doing something, details or a projects, when to do, how to do it, or most important, if to do it. Wavering is one of the classic signs of procrastination. Perhaps getting stuck in the planning is a subconscious excuse for never starting. 

How To Overcome 

Here are some helpful tips to help you overcome your chronic problem. 

  • Break Projects Down. It’s easier to handle a project if you break it down into manageable chunks. When you have specific actions to take at each step, getting started will feel less daunting. Get started with just one task and make sure it’s something that you enjoy or simple. Once you complete that you can work through the rest one stage at a time. 
  • Peer Pressure. There’s nothing worse than public humiliation so use your peers are a way to keep you accountable to completing your goals and deadlines. 
  • Medical Consultation. Procrastinators often struggle with what others think of them. While they are wholly competent, the pressure is too much for them to handle. If this sounds like you then it may be wise to speak to your doctor about anxiety, which could be the root of your problem. Your doctor can advise you on how best to rectify the issue. 

So, are you a chronic procrastinator? If you are not sure, take the quiz from Psychology Today to find out (https://www.psychologytoday.com/tests/career/procrastination-test-abridged)

And if you need some help to overcome the procrastination that is wrecking your life, check out my affordable coaching packages . Contact me today
 

Categories
Mindset/Strenghts

Ladies, Are Your Internal Scripts Holding You Back?

We face enough challenges on a daily basis, it’s enough to send us mad a lot of the time. To help you out here, I want to talk about your internal scripts, to make sure they are working with you, so you have the best possible chance to face the world head on.

What are your internal scripts?

They are the internal stories you are telling yourself about your life.

Why is that important?

Because it’s your internal scripts that influence how you feel about yourself, and everything that you do. If you want to be able to get ahead in life, you need to make sure that your internal script accurately represents the kind of woman you want to be, and the kind of life you want to live.

Let’s take a look at a couple of examples of different internal scripts.

Melissa just started a new job, and today is her first day. Insider her head she is telling herself that she is nervous about what could happen. She’s thinking about whether or not she will like her new boss, or the other women at work.

She’s also telling herself that if it doesn’t work out she will just go back to her old job and get her previous position back, after all her old boss said she could come back any time.

 

That’s a very negative and limiting internal script. So, let’s put a different one inside Melissa’s head.

Melissa just started a new job, and today is her first day. Inside her head she is telling herself that this is a great opportunity to do something more with her life than she was doing at her last job. She’s thinking about potentially meeting new friends and how she is going to ask the boss for any special advice she can give her to do the best job she possibly can. She’s also thinking a lot about how she’ll be able to go on holiday more often because of the great benefits she’ll receive at the new company.


The job is exactly the same, and so is the position that Melissa has, and even the other women and her new boss are all the same. So, what’s different?

It’s obvious isn’t it? It’s her internal script.

In the first example she is focusing on all the negative aspects about what she is doing. She’s focused on the potential things that could go wrong for her. In the second example, even though all of the aspects of the situation are the same, internally she is focusing on the positives and potential positives about the whole thing.

In the first example she’s worried. In the second, yes, she may be a little nervous still, but she is focusing on the positives, so she feels better about everything.

It’s extremely important that your internal scripts are productive and positive so that they don’t hold you back from achieving the types of things you want to achieve.

If your internal scripts are negative, they will almost certainly hold you back, and even if they don’t, they will make you worried, anxious and upset. If you switch this around though, your internal scripts will be helping you instead of hindering you.

 

Pay Close Attention To Your Words

To get a grip on your internal scripts, you first need to pay very close attention to what you are saying to yourself inside your head.


Second, you need to switch around everything that’s negative so that it’s positive

Thirdly, you need to fully transform any habitual negativity into habitual positivity. 

Do that and you’ll be a woman without limits!

 

Looking for a coach to help you change your internal scripts? I can help! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you out of your moment of chaos and onto a clear path to getting things back on track to normal. Contact me today.

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