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Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth

5 Things I Learned From Overcoming Conflict

Conflicts are a normal part of life and they tend to happen in virtually every setting. Oftentimes, we avoid conflicts because they make us tense and anxious.

They bring up a lot of self-doubt and discomfort, which typically results in raised voices, increased heart rate, and saying things we don’t really mean.

Even worse, it leads to feelings getting hurt and, sometimes, to relationships being destroyed. No wonder we hate conflicts!

That’s why learning how to resolve conflicts peacefully can be life-changing. In fact, the more we expose ourselves to conflicts, the better we handle any situation, which helps us become more resilient.

So, to help you address conflicts the right way, here are five things I learned from overcoming conflict.

1. Teaches Us to Respect Other Viewpoints

The reason there’s a conflict in the first person is that there are two opposing viewpoints. But most times neither side gets heard properly, which leads to an altercation, even escalating to major problems.

This is why negotiations are so important, even if you’re confronting a loved one. It shows that we’re willing to be flexible and more open to accept the other person’s opinions.

Of course, that certainly does not mean that you must agree with them. It just means you have to be willing to learn how to be prepared to accept them and move on.

2. Gives Us a Chance to Verbalize Our Needs

People often take for granted who we are as individuals, even those closest to us. This stems from our lack of verbalizing what it is we want or need.

So, we carry grudges and bottle everything inside until we can’t take it anymore. That’s when conflicts arise.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to look at conflicts as an opportunity. It gives you the chance to voice your opinions and share your feelings. As a result, you become less fearful of asking for what you need.

3. Improves Our Communication Skills

Being a good communicator requires patience and self-control. As with most things in life, the more you practice good communication skills, the better you become.

And the best way to practice is through confrontations, no matter how hard they may seem. Yet, you have to look beyond the fear and be willing to share our thoughts and feelings in a calm, collected way.

You’ll quickly realize that the right words just flow out. So, when the need arises, you can prepare for what lies ahead.

4. Makes Us Better Listeners

The key to overcoming conflicts is to be a better listener. Many times we’re so focused on what we’re going to say next that we don’t really pay attention to what the other person is saying.

That’s not the way to successfully win an argument or resolve a conflict.

To do that, you have to learn how to do things. First, you have to control your impulse to react and blurt out things haphazardly.

The second thing is to learn how to actively listen when someone talks to you. It’s through listening that you can gain a better understanding of the speaker, which enables you to make smarter, wiser choices.

5. Opens Our Eyes to New Ideas

One of the ways conflicts can be a useful tool is by allowing you to fine-tune your opinions and ideas. As different thoughts are expressed, how you look at things changes slightly.

When you hear someone talking about their viewpoint with regards to a certain topic, you can’t help but clarify your own. You either start modifying your opinion, or you become even more convinced of yours.

A third option is to take part of your ideas and part of theirs and come up with a whole new concept!

That’s the beauty of conflicts. They allow you to generate new ideas and mold new perspectives.

Then, when you realize there are more similarities than differences, you forge a bond. This bond leads the way to establishing trust and enhancing networking. Case in point, it just makes both sides better human beings.

Categories
Relationships

Is Your Own Negativity Affecting Your Friendships?

You will find a lot of information online about how to eliminate negative friendships from your life. However, what if the source of negativity is coming from you? 

It isn’t always easy to recognize when you are being negative. Some people have no idea how their negativity is impacting others. So, if your friendships have been suffering lately and you aren’t sure why, it could be down to your own mindset. 

Here, we’ll look at how your own negativity could be affecting your friendships and what you can do about it.

Are You a Negative Friend?

It isn’t always easy to identify negativity in ourselves. Many people are unaware that they are projecting negativity onto others. So, how can you identify if you are a negative friend? Here’s a few signs to look out for:

  • You find it hard keeping friends
  • You make plans knowing you’ll cancel them
  • You don’t check in first or see how your friends are doing
  • Most conversations are about you
  • Your friends don’t seek you out for for emotional support

Now, some of these signs may not be down to your own negativity. For example, you may not check in first with your friends because it used to always be you initiating contact. In that case, you wouldn’t necessarily be a negative friend.

Many people find it hard to keep friends. However, if you generally find it easy to make friends and not keep them, there may be a problem. Assess your friendships, including those from the past. Is there a pattern and could it be down to your negativity?

Life gets busy and it isn’t always easy to keep in touch with friends. However, if you literally never contact anyone first, this is a sign you are a negative friend. Remember, friendships are a two-way street. Your friends need to know you care about them too. 

Similarly, if you make plans knowing you’ll cancel them, and make all conversations about you, these are also negative friend traits. 

The Impact Negativity Has on Friendships

So, why is it important to be a more positive friend? The main one is that negativity can literally kill friendships. After all, who wants to spend time with someone who is always negative. It brings down their mood, leading them to feel more depressed or drained after they have been around you. 

Another way negativity impacts friendships, is that it is bad for the heart. Studies have shown that negative friendships affect our heart health. So, you could unintentionally be causing your friends health issues with your constant negativity. These are just some of the problems you can cause if you are a negative friend.

When you bring negativity into your friendships, you won’t have strong relationships. Healthy friendships are important for our health and wellbeing. So, if you do identify as a negative friend, now’s the time to start working on adjusting your mindset. It might not be easy; but, doing so will ensure you have much healthier and happier friendships.

Categories
Relationships

Some Ideas on How to Improve Your Relationships With Friends

Friendship is a major part of our lives. We can’t exist without our friends and all the memories we share.

Our friends are the first ones we run to when we have good news or need a shoulder to cry on. At the same time, they’re also some of the people we take for granted most in our lives. If your friendships seem like they’re in troubled waters, we’re here to help.

In this hi-tech day and age, we’re all busy doing our thing and living our lives. But that shouldn’t mean you leave your friendships behind. There are many things you can do to stay close to your friends despite your busy work/family schedule. After all, it was Honest Abe who said, “The better part of one’s life consists of his friendships.”

ًWe know how much your friendships mean to you. So, we rounded up five simple ways to improve your relationships with friends.

Let’s get started.

Keep in Touch

Every friendship is different. Some friends you can see every week, while you can only catch up with other friends every other month.

Nothing is quite as great as spending some quality time with your friends. However, it’s not always easy to schedule frequent get-togethers. Luckily, there are ways to keep the friendship strong in the meantime.

Simple things like dropping a text with a ‘how’s your day going?’ or a smiley emoji. Then, several days later, when you have time, write out an email telling them about their week. Ask them to do the same.

Technology may have its drawbacks. But when it comes to keeping people connecting, it does a pretty good job.

Remember Important Dates

This should be a no-brainer. Even if your friend doesn’t make a big deal about their birthday. It’s important that you send a gift, a card, or even a funny GIF. People appreciate it when their friends take a little time out of their day to acknowledge them.

Again, technology helps out in this department as well. You can use Google Calendar to add in all the birthday dates. Then, to be extra vigilant, set a reminder a week in advance so you have time to organize a gift.

Be a Good Listener

We get caught up in our own world. We’re used to expressing our point of view and feelings that we often neglect the feelings of others.

To establish enduring friendships, you have to listen to your friends and respect their opinions. Ask open-ended questions and pay attention to what your friends are saying. This is one of the best ways you can build a lasting bond between you and your friends.

Equally important is maintaining eye-contact. Avoid holding your phone and nodding your head the whole time they’re talking.

You also need to acknowledge your friends’ feelings and needs. Be open to their suggestions and be willing to compromise at times.

Open Up

Sharing good news with your friends boosts the value of these events in your life. Having special people support you enriches your life and makes it more special. It also promotes trust and gratitude.

You should also share with your friends when you have a problem. Everyone likes having a support system, and your friendships will grow stronger because of it.

There’s no doubt your friends will appreciate your willingness to open up and share. They’ll be happy that you put your trust in them, just like they did when they needed a shoulder to cry on and you were there for them.

Do Nice Things for Your Friends

One way to show your appreciation and love for your friends is to do something nice for them. It’s a great way to show how much you value their friendship.

Helping your friends out is a great way to strengthen your friendship. Plus, we guarantee you’ll have a great time and make great memories in the meantime. Then, whenever you need some help, you’ll find your friends there for you.

To help you get started, here are a few ideas:

  • Compliment their skills or judgment
  • Throw them a celebratory party if they get a raise or a promotion
  • Help them set up a bookshelf
  • Fix a leaky faucet

The Takeaway

Personal relationships are vital for our happiness and health. Any person who’s happy and successful in their lives has several meaningful friendships in their lives.

Yet, because we’re so busy, we can sometimes take our friendships for granted. These five simple ways to improve your relationships with friends will guarantee that that never happens—no matter how hectic your schedule is.

Friends are a precious gift. So, make the most of even the smallest moments and show some gratitude for having them in your life.