Step Ahead Life Coaching™

Author: Ally

Categories
Chaos / Upheaval

8 Techniques to Come Out on Top After an Upheaval

Illness strikes. A loved one dies. The economy shifts. You lose your job.

Let’s face it, upheaval happens whether you’re ready or not. For some people, they crumble at the first hint of disaster. Others somehow manage to somehow still succeed even when things look the direst. 

Which are you? Use these eight proven techniques, and you’ll come out on top every time.

# 1 Give Yourself a Break

Why are you expecting so much of yourself right now? When in crisis, recognize you’re not going to have all the answers, at least not immediately. Take a step back and acknowledge this is hard and confusing, and cut yourself some slack. This will help you relax and start thinking. 

# 2 Anticipate Fear

Know this is scary. Upheaval is all about sudden change, and you’re going to find yourself floundering initially. Fear is reasonable in this kind of situation. It’s what you do with this fear, which is what counts in the end. Remember, anticipating doesn’t mean caving into fear, but only acknowledging it’s there.

# 3 Breathe

Now, before you do anything, take a deep breath. Let it out slow, then take another. First reactions usually aren’t the best ones. By taking time to breathe, you’re giving yourself a minute to figure out what to do, not to mention taking in a little added oxygen so you can think. 

# 4 Accept

OK, this wasn’t what you wanted. Rather than fight against the change caused by the crisis, try embracing it as an opportunity to learn from the situation and to try doing things a different way. 

# 5 Rewrite the Narrative

This continues the idea from the last point. What words are you using to talk about the crisis? Is this a ‘disaster’ or an ‘unscheduled adventure’? Look for a more positive way to redefine the situation. 

# 6 Drop the Negativity

Speaking of positive, what’s your self-talk right now? Don’t get caught up in negativity here, either. Instead of beating yourself up, praise yourself for your courage in facing the upheaval with a positive attitude.

# 7 Practice Change

Get used to the idea of doing things differently by practicing change in small and safe ways. Adjust how you do something every day, such as changing the route you drive on the way to work. This helps your brain to build flexibility and readies you for the extensive changes necessary to handle this crisis.

# 8 Know You’ve Got This

Most important of all, remind yourself you’ve been through other disasters and survived. You’re going to be just fine so long as you hang in there.
Success, even in the wake of disaster, never happens by chance. It takes intentionality to come out on top. By learning these eight techniques, you’ll not only survive the upheaval, but you’ll become one of those people who thrive on adversity.

Looking for a coach to help you with through a crisis or some upheaval in your life? I can help! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you out of your moment of chaos and onto a clear path to getting things back on track to normal. Contact me today.

Categories
Mindset/Strenghts

How To Tap Into Your Own Strengths To Succeed In Life

You have heard the term personal strengths, you even know that you probably have them, but you aren’t quite sure what they are or how to use them.

Being able to tap into these strengths and use them provides you with self-confidence and boosts your happiness and resilience in handling difficult situations. 

Have you ever felt like you just don’t have what it takes to get to where you want to be? It might be because you aren’t effectively relying on your strengths. You can start reaping the benefits of your personal strengths now, and here is how to do it.

The Past

While it isn’t generally healthy to dwell in the past, you may need to cast your mind back to your greatest moments in life. To the times when you were on top of everything and felt in complete and utter control of your destiny. You need a reminder of how you harnessed your strengths in the past, especially when you don’t feel it. 
Don’t focus on negative situations in your past, only draw motivation from your triumphs of strength, and utilize them now to remind you of what you are capable of. 

 

Stop The Comparisons 

There are few things in life more destructive to self-confidence than constantly comparing yourself to others. How can you call yourself tough when someone else is even tougher?
Why should you be happy when there are others unhappier than you?
What makes you worthy of success when there are people just as good, if not better, as you?
This is only going to drain your energy and move your focus from your strengths. When you start comparing yourself to other people, you start to feel insecure and focus on your weaknesses.
Forget the things that you’re not good at and put your focus on the things you are good at and getting better at those. 
It doesn’t matter if Lisa from accounting handled a particular situation better than you that one time or if Bob from HR raised his eyebrow at something, you said. There are always going to be areas where you don’t know as much as someone else or skills that you haven’t mastered.
Guess what?
That means that there are plenty of strengths you have that others just don’t, so keep your focus on those. 

 

Be Positive

Everyone has traits that they would like to get rid of or change, whether it’s a lack of patience or a tendency to procrastinate. Don’t focus on those aspects of your character; rather focus on the positive traits you possess.
It is in those traits that your strengths lie and you should use that to your advantage. Maybe people turn to you in times of trouble because you have a great attitude or you’re helpful, lean into those strengths. 
When you feel at a low point, remind yourself of the strengths you have and how you use them on a daily basis. If you find yourself self-questioning often make a note of every time you use your strength so you can reflect on the successes you’ve experienced. 

 

Be Strong

Do you know what happens when you offer excuses for yourself?
You make them.
When there’s an out, you find yourself taking it every time. You don’t want to live life as a victim and make excuses for shortcomings.
Why would you when you can harness your strengths and utilize them on a daily basis? Don’t give yourself an out, your only option is to succeed and to do so you must use your strengths. 
Do you know what your strengths are? If not you can take a helpful test to determine where they lie (https://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/Choosing/strengths.htm). 

Want some help in identifying your strengths? I can help! I would love to identify and draw out your strengths – even the ones you don’t think you have! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you discover your amazing strengths so you can use them to improve your life. Contact me today.

Categories
Mindset/Strenghts Self Esteem/Self Confidence

6 Signs That You Are A Chronic Procrastinator

Let he who is blameless cast the first stone… deafening silence.

We are all guilty of procrastinating but to varying degrees. Is it having such a serious impact on your life that it’s starting to affect your happiness and ability to succeed? There are signs that may indicate your procrastination problem is a chronic one.

Do any of these signs sound like you?  

 

# Difficulty Coping When Faced With Change 

Do you feel aimless and anxious when a project comes to an end? Do you find it difficult to get into another project? Do you find that days, perhaps weeks, will pass before you can motivate yourself to dive in? This isn’t just detrimental to the optimal efficiency of a business, it can also be harmful when you face your home life this way. 

 

# You Feel Overwhelmed 

When you face a new project, do you feel overwhelmed by its size? Do you find it difficult to determine where to start? Do you have trouble finding the trees in the forest? If this is you then there’s a good chance that you put off starting your task because then you won’t need to worry about the stress it brings. There’s one big problem with that… your stress will just increase the longer you avoid it and the project isn’t going to go away. 

# You Are Always Late 

If there’s one thing, we can rely on a chronic procrastinator to do its turn up late. That’s right, they’re not known for being punctual, probably because they fail to determine how long particular tasks actually take. They tend to be late for meetings and often miss deadlines or just make it. 

 

# Your To Do List Is Ridiculous 

Do you dutifully set about crafting your to do list every morning and then tick each item off as you complete it? You seem very organized, but for some reason, your list is getting longer and fewer ticks are appearing. You may be a procrastinator, but you also may be over stuffing your list and making your life more difficult. 

 

# Your Priorities Are All Wrong 

You feel as though you’re making headway but looking back what is it that you actually managed to achieve? You’ve indulged in trivial tasks rather than focusing on items of high priority, but no one can accuse you of being lazy or wasting time. Right? It doesn’t feel like procrastination when you’re achieving something… but, it is.

 

# Difficulty Making Decisions

Another sign of chronic procrastination is the inability to decide on doing something, details or a projects, when to do, how to do it, or most important, if to do it. Wavering is one of the classic signs of procrastination. Perhaps getting stuck in the planning is a subconscious excuse for never starting. 

How To Overcome 

Here are some helpful tips to help you overcome your chronic problem. 

  • Break Projects Down. It’s easier to handle a project if you break it down into manageable chunks. When you have specific actions to take at each step, getting started will feel less daunting. Get started with just one task and make sure it’s something that you enjoy or simple. Once you complete that you can work through the rest one stage at a time. 
  • Peer Pressure. There’s nothing worse than public humiliation so use your peers are a way to keep you accountable to completing your goals and deadlines. 
  • Medical Consultation. Procrastinators often struggle with what others think of them. While they are wholly competent, the pressure is too much for them to handle. If this sounds like you then it may be wise to speak to your doctor about anxiety, which could be the root of your problem. Your doctor can advise you on how best to rectify the issue. 

So, are you a chronic procrastinator? If you are not sure, take the quiz from Psychology Today to find out (https://www.psychologytoday.com/tests/career/procrastination-test-abridged)

And if you need some help to overcome the procrastination that is wrecking your life, check out my affordable coaching packages . Contact me today
 

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