Step Ahead Life Coaching™

Author: Ally

Categories
Chaos / Upheaval Mindset/Strenghts Resilience

10 Resilience Power Words

Resilience speaks to one’s ability to bounce back from difficulties and catastrophes experienced in life. Resilience is essential to navigating life because adversity and challenges are inevitable.

While there are a variety of things related to resilience, the following is a list of resilience power words. Each of these words is linked to the development of resilience, which ultimately equates to the ability to handle adversity with grace.

# Acceptance

Adversity is inevitable, so learning to accept and embrace it is essential to developing resilience and navigating challenges well. Those who are resilient accept difficulties as a part of life and spend their time and energy learning to adapt to the adversity rather than fighting it or running from it. The choice to lean into the discomfort and embrace it ultimately helps people better deal with and bounce back from the hardships they face (Waters, 2013).

 

# Adaptability

The ability to be able to adjust and shift as new circumstances and challenges arise is a key facet of resilience. Those who are resilient can develop numerous strategies from dealing with stressful situations. This flexibility in the way they think about challenges allows them to respond flexibly with regards to their emotion. Thus, they are better able to shift from one coping strategy to another depending upon what is best given the specific set of circumstances (Barker, 2016).

 

# Awareness

Awareness is also heavily tied to the development of resilience. Awareness helps individuals understand what they need, how they feel, when they need to reach out for help, and when they need to make adjustments and improvements. Being aware of what personal adjustments need to be made to one’s self or one’s situation helps individuals gain the knowledge and information needed to best approach and navigate the challenge at hand (Waters, 2013).

 

# Boundaries

Boundaries in the context of adversity relate to one’s ability to create distinction between who they are at their core and the cause of their current negative circumstances. This means being able to understand that the adversity currently being faced is temporary.
This also means refraining from allowing the negative situation or circumstance to become one’s permanent identity. Being able to set these boundaries aids in quick recovery from trials because individuals understand that their situation will eventually change for the better, and there is the understanding that their identity is not rooted in the trauma. Thus, there is an ability to approach the challenge with a more positive attitude, and less likelihood of allowing the challenge to define one’s self (Waters, 2013).

 

# Confidence

A key to learning to cope with the stresses of life is a belief in your ability to do so. Research shows that there is a link between one’s self-esteem and one’s ability to handle stress and recover from negative events. People who lack self-esteem have a tendency to approach negative events with a negative outlook, and in general, have more negative outcomes. On the other hand, those who possess high levels of confidence in themselves and their abilities, approach negative circumstances with the belief that they possess what is necessary to overcome the circumstance. Thus, their outcomes tend to be more favorable (Cherry, 2020).

#Goals

Goal setting and resilience are linked in the sense that setting goals help breakdown challenges and hardships into more manageable parts that can be tackled and conquered. Goals allow challenges to be addressed in a realistic manner while also helping people to manage their emotional response to a given situation. When a person can tackle a situation one step at a time, there is less anxiety, less stress, and more probability of a favorable outcome. This ultimately means a better ability to bounce back from adversity (Cherry, 2020).

 

# Optimism

Optimism is the ability to look at situations and circumstances and find the positives, even in the midst of what seems like endless negatives. The ability to approach hardships with this type of positive attitude is key to being able to quickly recover from the difficulties we face in life.
True optimism isn’t about ignoring the negatives, but rather paying attention to those negatives that are relevant to the problems they face and then actively choosing not to remain focused on those negative solely or long term. True optimists who are able to foster resilience learn how to balance a positive outlook with a realistic view of the world and that helps them bounce back from challenges faced (Barker, 2016).

 

# Problem-Solving

There is research that suggests people who know how to analyze and develop solutions for problems are better able to cope with challenges as compared to those who do not know how to do those things. Being faced with a challenge creates an opportunity for individuals to do the work and learning that will help them develop potential solutions for the issue at hand.
It is that regular and consistent work of engaging in exercises that build focus and encourages non-traditional thinking that better helps individuals reason to able be able to solve problems in future scenarios (Cherry, 2020).

# Purpose

Finding or creating a sense of purpose for yourself in the midst of adversity or crisis can significantly help when it comes to coping and recovery. Developing a ‘why’ becomes the motivation needed to do the work that will help you get through the crisis. It is the purpose that makes the work of fighting through the trouble worthwhile and sustains your ability to continue moving forward so you can overcome adversity (Cherry, 2020).

Having a support system in place when faced with difficulties is essential to building resilience. The emotional support offered by having additional people to help you carry the load of mental/emotional burdens can make the adversity more manageable and easier to navigate.

Additionally, others can remind you of your abilities and strengths which may help you tap into the skills and inner strength you need to persevere. The support of others can also offer practical physical support and provision of resources and information that will aid you in overcoming the challenges you face (Barker, 2016).

Resilience is linked to so many other useful traits and qualities. In fostering resilience, one is able to foster the qualities mentioned in this article, and by fostering the characteristics noted in this article resilience is subsequently strengthened.
Thus, an emphasis on continued growth in any of these areas is sure to result in improved resilience which is sure to result in a better ability to navigate through life.

Looking for a coach to help you with developing resilience? I can help! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you out of your moment of chaos and onto a clear path to getting things back on track to normal. Book your free 20 min clarity session with me here

 

References:
Barker, E. (2016, April 26). 10 ways to boost your emotional resilience, backed by research. Time. https://time.com/4306492/boost-emotional-resilience/
Cherry, K. (2020, January). Use these 10 tips to improve your resilience. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/ways-to-become-more-resilient-2795063
Waters, B. (2013, May 21). 10 traits of emotionally resilient people. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/design-your-path/201305/10-traits-emotionally-resilient-people

Categories
Fresh Start Mindset/Strenghts

4 Ways You Make Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be

Life can be hard. Each day has a million things to take care of and it’s easy to fall behind. However, sometimes life is hard because we are making it that way ourselves. We humans are funny creatures. 

When things are hard, sometimes we make them harder just to feel like we have some control. If you think you’re making your life harder than it has to be, read on for 4 ways you might be doing so.

 

You Ascribe Malicious Intent

Most of the time people don’t mean to inconvenience you or make your life harder. The person who cut you off in traffic was in a hurry. Your significant other didn’t talk to you as much this morning because they were tired, not because of anything you did.

If we decide the world is out to get us, we make life harder than it has to be. Be very slow to ascribe malicious intent. It usually just makes you angry and unpleasant. The truth behind someone’s intentions is usually far from malicious and often not personal at all.

You Maintain Unreasonable Expectations

“When I hear somebody say ‘Life is hard’, I am always tempted to ask ‘Compared to what?‘” Sydney J. Harris.

It is often the case that the one thing we can control about life is our expectations. That doesn’t mean that we should go through life expecting and getting nothing. It means we don’t necessarily expect the glass to be half full, half empty, or even a little full. Expect the glass to be empty and then be grateful when it has some wine!

It is too often that we expect from the world rather than practice gratefulness for what we have.

You Are Afraid of Risks

As humans we avoid risks by nature. We don’t want to run into danger unless we know we can get out of it. However, our bubble of comfort can often become a prison. We need to risk social rejection, loss of money, and loss of time in order to make our lives better. When we spend most of our time avoiding risks, we make life harder than it has to be.

Of course, you shouldn’t go out there and run into traffic. Take smart risks! Think of an area in your life you’d like to expand upon and set some short terms goals. Once you’ve challenged yourself and become comfortable again, set some higher goals!

You Compare Yourself to Others

One of the most toxic things about modern social media is that it allows us to constantly compare ourselves to others. Even worse, we compare ourselves to others in only their best moments. It’s easy for some to make their life look glamorous on Instagram because people don’t see what happens when the camera turns off.

You can take solace in the fact that your friends probably don’t have it as good as they’d like you to think. However, there will always be someone with more money, more friends, or whatever else than you. Their life should not concern you! The only person you should compare yourself to is the version of you from the past. Look how far you’ve come!

In short, we need to worry less about others, less about risks, and maintain our expectations. If we go through life trying to be other people, thinking the world is out to get us, afraid to take a chance, and expecting things to get better without changing our actions… we are setting ourselves up for failure.

So, stop making life harder than it needs to be!

 

Looking for a coach to help you stop making life harder than it needs be for yourself? I can help! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you out of your moment of chaos and onto a clear path to getting things back on track to normal. Contact me today.

Categories
Mindset/Strenghts

Ladies, Are Your Internal Scripts Holding You Back?

We face enough challenges on a daily basis, it’s enough to send us mad a lot of the time. To help you out here, I want to talk about your internal scripts, to make sure they are working with you, so you have the best possible chance to face the world head on.

What are your internal scripts?

They are the internal stories you are telling yourself about your life.

Why is that important?

Because it’s your internal scripts that influence how you feel about yourself, and everything that you do. If you want to be able to get ahead in life, you need to make sure that your internal script accurately represents the kind of woman you want to be, and the kind of life you want to live.

Let’s take a look at a couple of examples of different internal scripts.

Melissa just started a new job, and today is her first day. Insider her head she is telling herself that she is nervous about what could happen. She’s thinking about whether or not she will like her new boss, or the other women at work.

She’s also telling herself that if it doesn’t work out she will just go back to her old job and get her previous position back, after all her old boss said she could come back any time.

 

That’s a very negative and limiting internal script. So, let’s put a different one inside Melissa’s head.

Melissa just started a new job, and today is her first day. Inside her head she is telling herself that this is a great opportunity to do something more with her life than she was doing at her last job. She’s thinking about potentially meeting new friends and how she is going to ask the boss for any special advice she can give her to do the best job she possibly can. She’s also thinking a lot about how she’ll be able to go on holiday more often because of the great benefits she’ll receive at the new company.


The job is exactly the same, and so is the position that Melissa has, and even the other women and her new boss are all the same. So, what’s different?

It’s obvious isn’t it? It’s her internal script.

In the first example she is focusing on all the negative aspects about what she is doing. She’s focused on the potential things that could go wrong for her. In the second example, even though all of the aspects of the situation are the same, internally she is focusing on the positives and potential positives about the whole thing.

In the first example she’s worried. In the second, yes, she may be a little nervous still, but she is focusing on the positives, so she feels better about everything.

It’s extremely important that your internal scripts are productive and positive so that they don’t hold you back from achieving the types of things you want to achieve.

If your internal scripts are negative, they will almost certainly hold you back, and even if they don’t, they will make you worried, anxious and upset. If you switch this around though, your internal scripts will be helping you instead of hindering you.

 

Pay Close Attention To Your Words

To get a grip on your internal scripts, you first need to pay very close attention to what you are saying to yourself inside your head.


Second, you need to switch around everything that’s negative so that it’s positive

Thirdly, you need to fully transform any habitual negativity into habitual positivity. 

Do that and you’ll be a woman without limits!

 

Looking for a coach to help you change your internal scripts? I can help! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you out of your moment of chaos and onto a clear path to getting things back on track to normal. Contact me today.

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