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Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth Uncategorized

How To Gauge Maturity: 7 Signs Of Maturity

Everyone has that one friend that is “just so immature” but what exactly is it that makes them immature? Better yet, what is it that gives some people a seemingly higher level of maturity than others? 

In reality, maturity has nothing to do with age. Rather, it is caused by experiences which then influence how the individual reacts to future experiences based on the results they’ve achieved in the past. 

Society is rapidly changing in a number of ways, so it can be truly hard to gauge someone’s levels of emotional maturity (especially if you are thinking you may be the immature one!) Regardless, there are a few signs to watch out for to know if someone is actually mature. 

Mature People Keep Their Word

Gone are the days when you promise someone you will do something, and then for whatever reason, you never follow through. This is not a trait of a mature individual. Mature people always follow through with their commitments no matter how far in advance they may be. And even if it becomes physically impossible to follow through, they still show up and give it their best shot.

Mature People Are Humble

If you think being mature means you are always right, that is largely incorrect. Mature people are always humble, quick to admit when they are wrong, and then offer to fix their mistake. They know they aren’t always right, and they are always willing to listen to someone else’s opinion. Mature people also don’t spend time bragging about themselves, because they don’t need someone else’s validation to make them happy. They also know that there is always more to learn and that they will never be “always right.”

Mature People Pick Values Over Feelings

Think of a child throwing a tantrum. They are doing so because they aren’t getting their way. Reacting in an emotional way to a situation as an adult is basically the same thing as a kid throwing himself on the floor and screaming. Although it may not look the same, getting emotionally upset when you don’t get your way is childish and immature. Instead, mature people set values and stick to them. And if something doesn’t go their way, they calmly accept it and begin to work on a solution that they can be happy with.

Mature Individuals Are Never the Victim

Immature people often have a victim mentality. They think that there is nothing they can personally do to better their life, as if they are a child waiting on their mom to cook dinner. Someone who is mentally mature knows this isn’t the case and that they are the choosers, and creators, of their own destiny. They also don’t sit around waiting for life to change, rather they go out and change it themselves. 

Mature People Don’t Gossip

This one is a tough one but engaging in petty gossip or drama is a time waster distracting you from your goals in life. Mature people know this, and they take special steps to avoid drama queens. They don’t want to get sidetracked off their path to success.

And if a mature person has a friend who is constantly into gossip and drama, they will take the steps to eliminate that friend from their life because they know surrounding themselves with like-minded individuals is a huge step to their own success. 

Mature People Don’t Need Constant Attention

Someone who is mature knows who they are and knows their self-worth. Therefore, they won’t need to go around constantly fishing for compliments or trying to draw attention to themselves. This doesn’t just mean just in person, but also on social media platforms. They’ll avoid posting things which may ignite drama or hurt someone’s feelings. 

They also won’t put themselves down in a post with the purpose of looking for someone to say nice things about them. Mature individuals are too busy pursuing their many goals to worry about petty things which are said about them on an online platform.

Mature People Never Give Up Or Give In

You’ve heard it time and time before but giving up is something that only children do. Mature adults know that giving up is never an option, and they will keep attempting to achieve their dreams over and over again even if they fail. 

Besides just not giving up, mature individuals never give in to a bad situation. No matter how difficult something may seem, they refuse to give in and let it get the better of them. Instead they keep their heads up and start working towards a solution to get them back on track towards their goals. 

Categories
Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth

How Your Thoughts Influence Your Reactions

Have you ever stopped to think about your reactions to things? Or, do you just let your emotions and your feelings determine how you actually respond to something? What’s quite interesting is just how much your thoughts influence your reactions to events.

There are quite a few reasons for this actually. It’s really a combination of past experiences, assumptions and predictions, and a little bit of impulsivity.

Let’s go over how each of these can influence your thoughts and, thus, your reactions in life.

Past Experiences

When it comes to developing your thoughts, one of the key influencers would be your past experiences. Your past experiences can include just about anything, like the parenting style used to raise you, your socioeconomic status, whether you experienced abuse, and traumatic events you may have witnessed firsthand.

These experiences help to shape who you are today.

Let’s say you grew up with verbally abusive parents and harbor resentment toward them and abusers in general.

Now as an adult, if you find yourself in a situation where you feel as if you’re being ostracised or bullied for who you are, your reaction might vary wildly.

There’s a possibility that you’ll withdraw and avoid these new people that make you think of your abusive parents. Or, you might stand up for yourself like you wish somebody would’ve done when you were a child.

Either way, there’s a pretty good chance your mind inadvertently went to thoughts you have about your past and your parents before formulating a response to this situation.

tilt-shift photography of person in brown jacket

Assumptions & Predictions

When you develop your personality and your own individual thought processes, you’ll also begin to develop your own assumptions and predictions. Now, these can be based on things you’ve experienced without even knowing it. You might just be able to analyze a situation and assume what will happen next.

These can greatly influence your reactions.

Let’s say you witnessed a traumatic car accident as a child and now have a lingering fear about cars and pedestrians.

As an adult, you’re walking down the street and notice a car barreling toward a pedestrian in the road. Since your mind might automatically go back to the thoughts about that traumatic event from your childhood, your reaction will vary.

Maybe you’ll jump out into the road to pull the pedestrian out of the road. Or, maybe you’ll just run away in shock as history repeats itself.

But, these reminders from your past will definitely influence how you react.

Impulsivity

There’s also a pretty good possibility that you respond to things purely out of impulsivity. That means you come up with your own feelings about an event rather quickly and act without even a second thought. In this case, you really didn’t have a thought to rely on.

This might encourage you to act when you normally wouldn’t.

Let’s say you witness a crime being committed as an adult.

Instead of thinking about what you should do or whether or not you should call the police, you immediately jump in and attempt to apprehend the suspect. You didn’t have any thoughts here, only relying on your own instincts to respond to the situation at hand.

woman biting pencil while sitting on chair in front of computer during daytime

Final Thoughts

The reactions you have in life are based on a lot more than just the personality that you’ve developed. They’re actually formulated based on the thoughts you have regarding past experiences, assumptions, and a sense of impulsivity.

But that doesn’t mean that you have to settle for the reactions you’re used to. After all, there’s a lot that you can do right now to begin shifting your perspective and to gain a little empathy.

So, take a little time to think about how you feel before actually responding to things in your life.

Struggling with your reactions? Like to be able to control your thoughts and feelings so you can react differently? I’d love to help you. Schedule a free clarity call with me now

Categories
Chaos / Upheaval Mindset/Strenghts

Adversity – Staying Positive When Life Falls Apart

We take a lot of good things for granted in our everyday life. A roof over our heads, a steady paycheck, a loving partner, the ability to go out for a run on the weekends. The specifics vary, but one of the big advantages of modern lives is the many awesome things we can count on.

We’re not used to falling short, so when something happens and our life starts to fall apart, it’s easy to fall into thinking patterns that focus on lack and despair. 

Sometimes the bad things are a result of choices we made. Sometimes they are outside of our control. In either case, it is up to us to decide how we react to each crisis.

One piece of advice that is important to remember no matter what adversity you face is to make sure you don’t forget about how blessed you really are. Gratitude can turn what we have into enough. 

There’s a quote I love and would like to share with you by Melody Beattie. Here it is: 

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” 

Think about how you can start to do this in your everyday life. A good place to start is to simply take a deep breath and pause for a moment when things go wrong and everything is starting to feel overwhelming.

Then come up with one little thing you are grateful for during this time. It can be something as simple as being able to breathe fresh, clean air, or living to fight another day. 

Find that something and start to build on it. What else are you grateful for? Keep making that mental list until the desperation starts to lift and you can start to think clearly.

When you do, you can start to find your way out, no matter how bad things seem at first. And remember, you never know what good might come from the struggle you are facing right now. 

When live gives you lemons, make lemonade and don’t forget to count your blessings and use gratitude to turn what you have into enough. Our ancestors were great at this. It’s time we picked that habit back up.