Category: Mindset/Strenghts

Forging a New Path (When You Can’t See the Old One)

Post author By Ally
Post date August 20, 2020
No Comments on Forging a New Path (When You Can’t See the Old One)

Katie started an office supply company when she was in her twenties. She grew the small business from her spare bedroom into a thriving brand with over three dozen employees. She was proud of what she’d done and the life she’d created for herself.

But three years ago, Katie discovered someone had embezzled the company’s funds and left it nearly bankrupt. The employee who’d committed this crime was Katie’s mother.

In the coming months, Katie lost everything—both her business and her home. She found herself in her forties starting her whole life over again.

Maybe you’ve found yourself in Katie’s shoes. You’ve lost everything and you have no choice but to rebuild your entire life. But you’re not sure what that process should look like exactly. here are some tips:

Let Go

Start by letting go. Think about the things that are no longer serving you. Katie had spent years building up her business only to lose it. For a long time, she could only focus on what she’d had.

A friend encouraged her to stop looking backward. “You can’t move forward in your car if the gear is stuck in reverse,” She advised. “Terrible things happen to everyone. You don’t get a choice in that. What you do get to decide is what gear you’ll put your life in.”

Create New Traditions

Sometimes, the hardest part of starting over is letting go of habits that we loved. Maybe you were financially set and could afford to go shopping for new clothes once a week. Perhaps you were close with your family and had brunch with relatives every Sunday.

When you’re forced to start over, missing these traditions is painful. But don’t get caught up in sitting around wishing for how things were. Create new traditions that honor what your life looks like now. For example, you could invite your closest friends over on Sundays for game day or spend the time you use to go shopping to refashion old items in your closet.

Design Your Vision

When you’re forging a new path in live, it’s easy to get focused on what you don’t want. For example, if you’re leaving a bad marriage, you may swear off romantic relationships or a certain city.

While these blanket statements may make you feel good, they don’t help you create more of what you want in your life. This is where a vision board can be helpful. You can use one to create a positive image of the new life you’re looking to make.

The vision board you make can be physical—you can grab magazines, books, and other old media to create yours. But a vision board can also be digital and you can use a website like Dream It Alive or Vision Board to design yours.

Click the link below to listen to short audio about Resilience After a Crisis – currently we are experiencing a global Pandemic and many people are being forced to rebuild their lives in some way or the other.

Rebuilding your life after adversity isn’t easy. But you have the smarts (and the power!) to do it. Embrace this season of rebirth in your life!

Are you struggling to rebuild your life after adversity? It’s sure not easy….but it is possible! It also helps to have someone to walk along side you to guide and support you – I would love to help! Let’s chat about what you need to pick up the pieces and start over. You can book you free session with me here.

Mindset/Strenghts Resilience

7 Things You Can Do To Create Happiness During The Toughest of Times

Post author By Ally
Post date August 6, 2020
No Comments on 7 Things You Can Do To Create Happiness During The Toughest of Times

Upheaval drags everyone down. A crisis wears on a person, eroding mood and destroying optimism. As you go into survival mode, it becomes harder and harder to hold onto any kind of joy at all. Instead, your days are taken up with emotions such as worry, anxiety, depression, anger, frustration, and fear.

It seems like a pretty tough time to find happiness, doesn’t it?

Yet, more than ever, this is precisely when you need happiness most. It’s a positive outlook and a great deal of optimism, which is going to get you through these tough times, which means it’s up to you to create this happiness as soon as possible. Why not try these tips?

# Take a Walk

Physical exercise promotes mood in tremendous ways. Seize the chance to take a break for a few minutes when you can and step outside. Walk at an even pace, fast enough to raise your heart rate a little for the best results.

# Find a Distraction

You can’t focus on the crisis every minute of the day without driving yourself crazy. Occasionally you need to give your brain a break. Try reading a book, watching a show on TV, doing a puzzle, or engaging in a hobby for a little bit.

# Eat Something Good

It’s so easy to forget regular meals when you’re in the midst of a crisis. But low blood sugar affects mood in negative ways. Also, if you’re just grabbing snacks, junk food can make you lethargic and inhibit your ability to think clearly. As much as possible, try to maintain a regular schedule for meals. And eat healthily!

# Fix Something

Your world is out of control and can’t be fixed easily. Help your mood by finding something you can correct and exert control over this situation. Why not do the mending you’ve set aside? Or do one of those little home repair jobs you’ve meant to tackle.

# Sleep

Lack of rest does affect mood negatively. Even in a crisis, you need to sleep. Stay on your sleep schedule as much as possible.

# Hang Out with Friends

It’s not mentally healthy to isolate. Make time for friends, even if for only a short phone call. Touching base with people who love and support you will do wonders for your mood.

# Do Something

Act. Nothing makes you feel more helpless than inactivity. It might be you’re not able to do what you normally would during this upheaval. Instead, find the next best thing you can do and focus on that for five minutes at a time until it’s done.

Remember, happiness can’t be forced. Some days you’re just going to feel what you’re going to feel. But by paying attention to your mood and working to improve it, you set yourself up for the greatest success.

Looking for a coach to help you with creating more happiness in your life? I can help! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you out of your moment of chaos and onto a clear path to getting things back on track to normal. Contact me today

Tags asking for help, change, chaos, happiness, life isn't fair, Mindset, overwhelm, resilience, Strengths

Anxiety/Stress Fresh Start Mindset/Strenghts Self Care

Asking For Help: Ease Anxiety and Stress

Post author By Ally
Post date July 18, 2020
No Comments on Asking For Help: Ease Anxiety and Stress

Have you ever felt that asking for help sometimes feels like the hardest thing to do?

It’s funny how often we’d rather take on impossible tasks and stressful daily schedules. Asking for help takes vulnerability and opens you up to another person.

For some of us, this may come easy. For those of you who struggle, read on for some ways to ask for help. It will ease your anxiety and stress!

Accept That You Need and Deserve Help

The first and possibly hardest step is accepting that you not only need help, but you deserve it. Maybe you used to ask for help all the time, but negative reactions made you stop. If you’re struggling, though, you need to accept that you need help or things are going to get worse.

Give that younger version of yourself who hardened your heart to others a break. You have come a long way since then. You’ve learned how to do a lot on your own, so it is not unreasonable to ask others to help you now. It is often the case that those around you would rather know you need help than watch you fail.

Know What You Need

Once you accept that you need and deserve help, you need to make sure you know what you need help with. Do you need advice buying a car? Do you need a co-worker’s advice? Make sure you know exactly what it is so you can go to the right person and ask the right thing.

Often, we struggle with requests for help because we don’t know what we need. We convey some idea that we think might help, but the other person gets confused and offers favors that don’t make your life easier. All of that struggle can be avoided if you know exactly what you need from a person.

Don’t Leave People Guessing About What You Need

According to Alice Boyes of PsychologyToday.com, “When asking for help, make sure the person knows exactly what you want. For example, rather than just tell you what to do, you want your spouse to show you what to do. So make sure you you ask for that, make it clear you want to be shown and and not just told.”

This also works in the office. Your boss and coworkers may sometimes seem like they are waiting around for you to fail so they can be mad at you. The truth is they all want you to succeed because you are on their team. When you do your job better, so does everyone else. And your boss makes more money!

Therefore, in relationships both personal and professional, make sure to ask for specific things when you know you need them. The clearer you are, the more likely you will receive the support you need and deserve.

Give Help

When you readily help others, they will readily help you. The key is knowing when to say no. If you are already feeling overwhelmed, you may not be able to meet someone’s request. This is fine! You have to make sure that you are doing well before you can help others.

When you are doing well, however, it benefits others, the world, and even you to offer up quality assistance to your friends, family, and members of your office and community. When those around you are happy and productive, it helps you and your entire community! So, make some time to help others and you will never be wanting for assistance.

Asking for help is hard because we think it makes us weak. We’re also afraid we won’t get it. We have to push on past these fears with the firm belief that we need and deserve assistance. We must also walk the walk and help others in return.

If you would like some help but struggle to ask for it, I would love to help you. Contact me today for the supportive and confidential help that you deserve.

Tags anxiety, asking for help, stress

Step Ahead Life Coaching™