Categories
Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth Self Care

Take Charge of Your Habits

There’s a quote that has been around for a long time that shows us why we need to take charge of our habits….

“The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.” by Warren Buffet.

If you don’t take charge of your habits, even ones that seem harmless, they will easily control you.

While habits are easily formed and followed through, especially once your brain recognizes them as habits, you can still change them. Always remember that you are in control, not your habits. 

Habit expert and writer of the book ‘Atomic Habits’ James Clear has four rules for forming habits that can help you take charge of them. You may have some good habits..and some not so good habits, either way you can still use these rules to gain some measure of control. These rules, according to Atomic Habits, are: 

  • Make it obvious
  • Make it attractive
  • Make it easy
  • Make it satisfying

Make it Obvious

To take charge of your habits, you need to make them obvious. For example, let’s pretend you have decided you want to start running. If your running shoes and gear are in the closet, then that habit isn’t so obvious or apparent. Your brain will just want to stay in bed in the morning rather than sifting through your wardrobe for your shoes.

So, you can put your running shoes by the door and make sure that they are the first thing you see in the morning. Then you’ll be reminded that you should run today. To break bad habits, you want to hide them away. 

Make it Attractive

With habits, most people focus on the long-term goals. You might say, “I will go for a run to get my beach body in ten weeks.” While that goal is noble, it does nothing when running in the cold and feeling miserable. 

So, make your habits attractive and give yourself a reward or incentive to get it done. Perhaps you could run with a friend, or choose a running path that has a pleasant view or lovely surroundings. I also find jogging on a bush track gives me far more pleasure just by being out amongst nature, that jogging on the city streets. For bad habits, add extra steps or make going the habit very unattractive.

Make it Easy

Remember, the brain always takes on the path of least resistance. If that path happens to lead to your habit, then more power to you. It might seem illogical, but instead of telling yourself. I will run a mile today; say that you will only run a block.

Having smaller micro-habits will make everything easier and will help you do them. Most people go too big, get discouraged, and then get burnt out. But running a block, reading one page of a book, or doing one push-up is something that takes no time at all. Plus, if you are able to achieve one small habit, what is stopping you doing another…and another?

For bad habits, add more resistance to them and make them harder to achieve.

Make it Satisfying

Reward yourself along the journey for your habits, and you’ll keep doing them. Maybe if you go running for thirty days, give yourself some type of reward. Have a good meal, watch a movie, do something you wouldn’t normally do, and also reflect on how running has made you a better person than you were 30 days ago.

For bad habits, remove the satisfaction from them, and you won’t see them as a reward.

You Are In Control

Remember, you are in control! Every habit, good or bad, comes from your brain, you are the one that is in charge.

If you want to make or break a habit, you are the only one who can do so. Follow the four steps, and you’ll find that it gets easier and easier to take charge and make your habits work for you.

Categories
Personal Growth Resilience

5 Steps For Handling Constructive Criticism

Wise people have learned how to handle criticism. They view and handle it like any other feedback, with a calm and judicious attitude. They try and see how they can use it to get ahead and meet their goals.

Many people, however; find it hard not to react defensively or angrily. There is a tendency in human nature to launch a counterattack so as to shift the blame to the critic. Unfortunately that behaviour often inflames the situation, and it certainly does not help you get ahead or win you any friends.

Criticism is a fact of life, and the sooner you learn to handle it positively, the better you can use that feedback for your own success. 

#1 Before you React – Stop!

You will feel the reaction in your body before you can get the words out. And that is where you must stop. Don’t do anything, just breathe…. and take a moment to calm your defences. It’s more than likely the other person won’t even notice, and it will give you time to compose yourself.

#2 Remind Yourself that This is Feedback

Your composure time gives you a chance to remember that this criticism is an opportunity to learn something, possibly something valuable. Say to yourself, “This is not personal,” and repeat it as often as you need to until your initial reaction has passed. 

#3 Practice Your Active Listening

Feedback time is a time to listen, it is not a time to talk. Try to understand what the other person is saying. Maybe it’s an aspect of your project or goal that you haven’t thought of yet. What initially feels like criticism may offer valuable insight. 

Repeat back what you heard and seek clarification if you need to. This is not a time to analyze or push back, it’s a time to understand precisely what is being said. 

#4 Thank Your Critic

Even if it makes you cringe inside, say thank you for the feedback. You don’t have to agree with what they’ve said to be sincerely appreciative of the input. And remember, they took the time and made the effort to give you some advice that they thought my help you in the future.

#5 Process the Feedback

You may need some time to do this, or you might be able to do it on the spot. If your emotions are running high, it’s probably better to take a break and come back to deal with what has been said. Otherwise, it’s fine to ask questions to clarify the feedback, and maybe seek their suggestions on how to move forward. 

Learning to handle and cope with constructive feedback and criticism is a really important skill, and once you learn it you will view feedback in an entirely manner. You’ll be glad you learned it sooner rather than later. 

Categories
Anxiety/Stress Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth

Catastrophic Thinking 101

What Is Catastrophic Thinking?

Catastrophic thinking is a way of thinking where a person sees a negative and unfavourable outcome to an event. And if it happens that way, then life will be a total disaster for them. You may have heard it offered to as cognitive distortion – a term used to describe extreme worrying which can lead to a cycle of repetitive worry. Irrational thoughts can be stressful and consuming. The emotion of the moment often replaces logical thinking. 

Catastrophic thinking can cause:

  • Added stress
  • Increased anxiety
  • Exacerbation of existing mental health conditions
  • Loss of sleep
  • Difficulty concentrating

Catastrophic thinking can be a problem anytime, but especially during these hard times, when there is a pandemic political unrest and thousands of people are anxious and depressed. 

Reframe

Ask yourself in moments of catastrophic thinking if the thoughts you are having are logical or real. What are the odds of the thing you are worrying about actually coming true? Can this thing happen? 

Is it practical to be concerned about this? The reality is, there are some situations which are beyond your control. No matter how much you worry about them, and no matter what you do, you cannot change the situation or the outcome. Instead focus on using your energy on aspects that you can change.

Keep A Positive Mindset

Keep it positive when confronting catastrophic thinking. Staying positive facilitates feelings of inner strength, optimism, and resilience because you believe you are strong and can handle anything. Positive thoughts affect all areas of life. Make a conscious choice to look at the positive in all things. Even when you don’t feel like it. Even when it’s hard.

Self-Care

Practicing self-care ensures that you are healthy and set up to deal with difficult feelings and emotions in life. Remember to make time for some healthy and enjoyable activities that enrich your body and soul. 

Change Your Environment

Your environment has a lot to do with what you think and how you feel. Change things up, begin a new routine, reach out to positive people. Read a self-help book to put your mindset towards something positive and self-supportive. 

Mindfulness 

Be in the moment. Instead of hyper focused on the future. Being mindful puts you in the right space to take a step back and observe what your feelings and thoughts are in a situation. Just become aware of your feelings without condemning or judging yourself. This can help you stop the cycle of catastrophic thinking.

Sleep On It

Make sure you are getting enough sleep and have a routine sleep schedule. Being rested ensures you will be level headed when confronted with moments of catastrophic thinking. 

Connect

Share your experience and struggles with like-minded individuals. This can be supportive family, friends or possibly even online groups where you feel safe and comfortable doing so. Share the highs and the lows as well as your successes and failures. This is a great way to gain insight and comradery on your journey of life.

Give Yourself A Break

Cut yourself some slack when dealing with difficult feelings. Take a walk through the park, breathe in fresh air, take a yoga class, read a good book. Go easy on yourself when life is hard.

Take Action

Making a change to thought patterns and habits is not a quick fix. Whether it’s changing your diet, creating better self-care practices, talking to a professional or reaching out for support, remember that making changes to catastrophic thinking takes time. 

If you deliberately work on these things you will find peace and change will come. Don’t despair if it takes time to change old thought patterns. 

Talk To A Doctor Or Therapist

If catastrophic thinking is a big problem that you just cannot get a handle on, or it is affecting your quality of life, or ability to get things done talk to your doctor or mental health professional.

Now that you have these tools in your life skill toolbox, use them. The more you use these skills and techniques the more likely you will automatically handle catastrophic thoughts better should they arise. Empower yourself.

If you would like some help at overcoming catastrophic thinking, I would love to help:) Send me a message so we can make a time to talk.