Category: Uncategorized

How To Have Those Difficult Conversations With Your Partner

Post author By Ally
Post date April 1, 2021
No Comments on How To Have Those Difficult Conversations With Your Partner

You love your partner, but sooner or later, a tough conversation needs to happen. While this is normal, (after all, what relationship doesn’t have its bumps along the way) how you handle those conversations will determine whether you come away from this particular conflict with a stronger appreciation for each other.

This is why it’s so important to handle difficult conversations well.

How do you ensure you engage in the best conversation possible in these circumstances?

Start with Not Putting Off the Talk Longer than Necessary

Take time to count to ten or to take a few deep breaths before beginning. After all, starting with too much emotion will be more damaging than helpful. Once you’re cooled down though, it’s time to talk. Why is it better sooner rather than later? By putting things off, you tend to build up resentment and inflate the conflict. It’s important to address situations before they get out of hand. A small problem today is much easier to solve than a giant one several weeks from now.

Drop the Good News / Bad News Approach

No one likes waiting for the other shoe to drop, so instead of giving the compliment with a ‘but’ lurking to negate everything you’ve just said, just come out and say the bad news first. If you’re determined to add in the compliment, do so after the bad stuff is out of the way, so you leave the person on a more positive note.

Plan Your Conversation

Rather than blindside your partner with an uncomfortable discussion, let them know you have something you want to talk about. Make it clear you’re wanting to discuss something that affects your feelings, rather than starting out in an attack. There’s a vast difference between, “I’d like to talk to you sometime about your drinking” vs. “I’d like to talk to you about how I feel when I see you drinking so heavily.”

What Are Your Goals?

In any heavy conversation, you need to agree at some point on common goals. Working toward the same thing will help you find your way through the conversation to that eventual place.

Keep a Positive Spirit

Aim for optimism. Even if the conversation isn’t going how you would like it to, finding something to hope for will soften the outcome no matter what.

Difficult conversations are just that: Difficult. But having a plan in place will help you to get through them. Use these steps to build the framework of your conversation, and even if the outcome is bad, getting there won’t be as difficult as you think.

Tags difficult conversations, partner conversations

Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth Uncategorized

How To Gauge Maturity: 7 Signs Of Maturity

Post author By Ally
Post date November 23, 2020
No Comments on How To Gauge Maturity: 7 Signs Of Maturity

Everyone has that one friend that is “just so immature” but what exactly is it that makes them immature? Better yet, what is it that gives some people a seemingly higher level of maturity than others?

In reality, maturity has nothing to do with age. Rather, it is caused by experiences which then influence how the individual reacts to future experiences based on the results they’ve achieved in the past.

Society is rapidly changing in a number of ways, so it can be truly hard to gauge someone’s levels of emotional maturity (especially if you are thinking you may be the immature one!) Regardless, there are a few signs to watch out for to know if someone is actually mature.

Mature People Keep Their Word

Gone are the days when you promise someone you will do something, and then for whatever reason, you never follow through. This is not a trait of a mature individual. Mature people always follow through with their commitments no matter how far in advance they may be. And even if it becomes physically impossible to follow through, they still show up and give it their best shot.

Mature People Are Humble

If you think being mature means you are always right, that is largely incorrect. Mature people are always humble, quick to admit when they are wrong, and then offer to fix their mistake. They know they aren’t always right, and they are always willing to listen to someone else’s opinion. Mature people also don’t spend time bragging about themselves, because they don’t need someone else’s validation to make them happy. They also know that there is always more to learn and that they will never be “always right.”

Mature People Pick Values Over Feelings

Think of a child throwing a tantrum. They are doing so because they aren’t getting their way. Reacting in an emotional way to a situation as an adult is basically the same thing as a kid throwing himself on the floor and screaming. Although it may not look the same, getting emotionally upset when you don’t get your way is childish and immature. Instead, mature people set values and stick to them. And if something doesn’t go their way, they calmly accept it and begin to work on a solution that they can be happy with.

Mature Individuals Are Never the Victim

Immature people often have a victim mentality. They think that there is nothing they can personally do to better their life, as if they are a child waiting on their mom to cook dinner. Someone who is mentally mature knows this isn’t the case and that they are the choosers, and creators, of their own destiny. They also don’t sit around waiting for life to change, rather they go out and change it themselves.

Mature People Don’t Gossip

This one is a tough one but engaging in petty gossip or drama is a time waster distracting you from your goals in life. Mature people know this, and they take special steps to avoid drama queens. They don’t want to get sidetracked off their path to success.

And if a mature person has a friend who is constantly into gossip and drama, they will take the steps to eliminate that friend from their life because they know surrounding themselves with like-minded individuals is a huge step to their own success.

Mature People Don’t Need Constant Attention

Someone who is mature knows who they are and knows their self-worth. Therefore, they won’t need to go around constantly fishing for compliments or trying to draw attention to themselves. This doesn’t just mean just in person, but also on social media platforms. They’ll avoid posting things which may ignite drama or hurt someone’s feelings.

They also won’t put themselves down in a post with the purpose of looking for someone to say nice things about them. Mature individuals are too busy pursuing their many goals to worry about petty things which are said about them on an online platform.

Mature People Never Give Up Or Give In

You’ve heard it time and time before but giving up is something that only children do. Mature adults know that giving up is never an option, and they will keep attempting to achieve their dreams over and over again even if they fail.

Besides just not giving up, mature individuals never give in to a bad situation. No matter how difficult something may seem, they refuse to give in and let it get the better of them. Instead they keep their heads up and start working towards a solution to get them back on track towards their goals.

Uncategorized

The Healing Power of Gratitude.

Post author By Ally
Post date November 12, 2020
No Comments on The Healing Power of Gratitude.

The Mental and Physical Connection of Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful thing and we’re just scratching the surface when it comes to discovering the various mental and physical effects it has on us. Let’s look at a few of those to give you an idea of what you can expect if you start to make feeling gratitude a daily focus.

The Mental Benefits Of Gratitude

Practicing gratitude helps your overall mental health because you instantly have a better outlook on life. Don’t be surprised to walk away from your latest gratitude meditation with a big smile on your face. Of course the benefits don’t stop at increased happiness. Feeling more gratitude has been linked to a better self-image, less anxiety and even a reduction of depression. This comes as no surprise to scientists who have recorded increased levels of dopamine and serotonin after intentional gratitude meditations.

The Physical Benefits Of Gratitude

This is where it gets interesting. It’s one thing to feel better emotionally, but the release of these “feel-good” hormones affects your physical body as well. Gratitude reduces stress and with it, you’re sleeping better, your blood pressure lowers, and you have more energy. As a result, you move more, leading to even better overall physical health. Maybe your gratitude exercise motivates you to go out for a walk, getting more oxygen into your body and loading up on Vitamin D. Being able to sleep soundly reduces appetite and less stress helps you make smarter food choices. All these things work hand in hand to turn you into a healthier and stronger version of yourself.

Gratitude is particularly important for heart health. Between the lower blood pressure and reduced stress, you are putting less strain on your heart. The added exercise and sleep strengthen your heart muscle and give this most important organ time to recover and heal overnight. With heart disease one of the leading causes of death in modern society, there’s never been a better time to practice gratitude and let go of stress.

How can you tap into both the mental and physical benefits of gratitude? By feeling more of it. Of course that’s easier said than done. A great place to start is by creating a habit of thinking of at least one person or one thing you are deeply grateful for each morning as soon as you wake up. It sets the tone for the whole day and gets you off to a great start to reap these powerful benefits. Give it a try!

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