Step Ahead Life Coaching™

Tag: disaster

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Chaos / Upheaval Fresh Start Mindset/Strenghts

What Can We Learn From Chaos and Crisis?

woman wearing black and white shirt looking above

I still marvel at the incredible opportunities that are hiding inside chaos and crisis, although I was unable to see that at the incredibly emotionally painful time of my separation and divorce.

The most positive things I learned was to view a crisis as an opportunity, where lessons can be learned. It is an opening for change and improvement, and to view a situation through different eyes. 

As I began to pick up the pieces of my life and place them one by one into a new normal,  I increasingly sensed a strong desire to use the lessons I had learned to try and help others experiencing challenges and heartache. 
This led me down a completely new career path, from teaching – to gaining qualifications as a coach and counsellor. I will never forget one of my counselling clients – a special young woman I will call Amanda for privacy reasons. 

Amanda taught me about resilience, pain and purpose. Let me tell you about the incredible struggles she overcame…

Amanda was referred to me by her doctor as she was struggling with depression, bulimia, suicidal thoughts and addiction. We would meet each week, and for the first couple of months, Amanda would sit cross legged on the floor in my office, cuddling one of my teddy bears, sobbing her heart out as she talked about her life. 

close-up photography of brown teddy bear

My heart ached for her – her life had not been easy, she saw no reason to go on and her lifestyle was threatening her mental and physical health. 

But….. Amanda still had the tiniest flicker of fight left in her, so we developed strategies together to fuel the tiny flame inside of her. Each week I would be overjoyed to see the triumphant small positive changes Amanda was making.

After one year, Amanda had reinvented herself! After three years, she contacted me to invite me to her graduation…. and to meet the handsome man beside her who was now her fiance. 

This courageous young woman taught me about courage, and that there is always an opportunity in adversity, there is always a way through the storms in life and that we are stronger than we think. Sometimes we just need the support of others to get us through the storms. 

That is why my passion is walking alongside you to empower you on your journey and find the calm in the storms of life. 

What is a “storm” in life that you have overcome? What did it teach you about yourself?   I’d love to hear from you- please share below. 

I would love to help you if you are experiencing a ” storm in your life” or if you have weathered the storm but now needing some help to find the “real you” who may have got lost in the storm. I would love to chat, why not book a free clarity call with me now:)
 

Categories
Chaos / Upheaval Relationships

5 Things You Can Do to Help Your Child During an Upheaval

The world can be a daunting place, especially to a child. We work hard as parents to protect them from the big, bad, scary things. 
The problem is, much as we’d love to keep our children cocooned in a safe space where nothing can touch them, they tend to be every bit as aware of upheaval as you are, especially when the crisis is something is too large to hide. A child can’t help but be mindful of a natural disaster.

And as much as you try to hide it, they catch on pretty quick when something isn’t right in the home even if they don’t know the details of the pending divorce, the sick parent, or the lost job. 
So how do you help your child best during upheaval? Start by doing these five things:

# 1 Validate

Emotions are real, and there is no right or wrong in what your child is feeling right now. By reaching out to them and letting them know it’s ok for them to feel what they’re feeling, you help your child to feel heard.

 

# 2 Embrace Routine

During an upheaval, it’s hard to maintain your daily schedule. But children need routine now more than ever. Whatever is going on, try as hard as you can to keep as much normal as possible. For example, try to eat meals around the same time every day if you can. Or create a new routine suitable for current circumstances.

 

# 3 Communicate Appropriately

As mentioned before, kids know when things are wrong. Rather than going silent, be honest. Let them know what’s happening in a way that keeps in mind what’s appropriate for their age. Most important? Answer their questions.

 

# 4 Loosen Up

Play is a great way to ease tension. Even kids who might have felt like they were too old to play will love a chance to do something fun. Remember, you need to be sure to play with them, so grab a frisbee or pick up some crayons and get to it!

 

# 5 Breathe!

Teaching your child to meditate or do something calming, such as Tai Chi or Yoga, gives them the tools they need to calm down and return to the moment when they start to grow anxious or scared about what’s going on. Doing these activities with them does wonders for your mood as well.
If your child has become too aware of what’s going on, don’t despair. They’re a lot more resilient than you give them credit for. The biggest thing they need right now is to know your love is assured. Given time, the rest of these steps will help considerably. 
And of course, if your child needs a little extra help, don’t be afraid to take them to a counselor who is specially trained in helping a child make difficult transitions.  

Categories
Chaos / Upheaval Relationships

3 Things You Should do For Your Significant Other When the World Seems Out of Control

You have someone you love dearly, who loves you in return. Life looks good. 
Until it doesn’t.

Disaster strikes.

Sudden chaos and upheaval has spun your world out of control.

Everything you’ve worked so hard to build is about to come crashing down around you.

Even if the crisis has absolutely nothing to do with the two of you, this kind of upheaval can put an immense strain on a relationship. Tempers flare. Unresolved issues crop up all over again. If you’re not careful, things can fall apart very quickly, which is why it’s so essential to do the next three things immediately.

1 Become a Safe Place

Regardless of whether this crisis is theirs or something affecting you both, you’re going to have to take the same approach. You need to be someone the other person can count on. You’re here to be their partner, even in the tough times. The other person needs to feel like they can come to you with what they’re feeling and thinking entirely without judgment. If ever there was a time to be your loving best, it’s right now when you hold them through this upheaval.

 

2 Stay Calm

Once they trust you to be there for them, your next goal is to master your own emotions. You might be upset, angry, sad, worried, anxious, or a whole host of other things. You can even express that you’re feeling these things to your loved one (they’ll probably appreciate knowing they’re not the only ones feeling this way).

But you absolutely cannot be reacting emotionally. Here’s where you have to clamp down on your gut reaction and instead find a keen interest in what’s going on around you. Having a clear head is one of the best things you can give them right now, but you’ll never manage if you’re over-emotional.

3 Help Sort Things Out

Now that you’ve gotten a handle on the facts, it’s time to work together on an action plan. Your next goal? Be the one to strike a balance. Help them to see the situation clearly. Be someone who can help give a little perspective. Once a plan is made, be ready to help carry it out.
The world might feel like it’s spiraling out of control, but with these three steps, you can protect your relationship with your significant other and show them you truly are a team going forward. By doing this, you’re reminding them just how much you love them and how much you are on their side. Especially now when times are tough.

 

Have you been experiencing emotional pain and trauma since Covid 19 changed our world for ever? I can help! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you out of your moment of chaos and onto a clear path to getting things back on track to normal. Contact me today to arrange a free clarity call.

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