Step Ahead Life Coaching™

Tag: life isn’t fair

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Chaos / Upheaval Fresh Start Mindset/Strenghts

What Can We Learn From Chaos and Crisis?

woman wearing black and white shirt looking above

I still marvel at the incredible opportunities that are hiding inside chaos and crisis, although I was unable to see that at the incredibly emotionally painful time of my separation and divorce.

The most positive things I learned was to view a crisis as an opportunity, where lessons can be learned. It is an opening for change and improvement, and to view a situation through different eyes. 

As I began to pick up the pieces of my life and place them one by one into a new normal,  I increasingly sensed a strong desire to use the lessons I had learned to try and help others experiencing challenges and heartache. 
This led me down a completely new career path, from teaching – to gaining qualifications as a coach and counsellor. I will never forget one of my counselling clients – a special young woman I will call Amanda for privacy reasons. 

Amanda taught me about resilience, pain and purpose. Let me tell you about the incredible struggles she overcame…

Amanda was referred to me by her doctor as she was struggling with depression, bulimia, suicidal thoughts and addiction. We would meet each week, and for the first couple of months, Amanda would sit cross legged on the floor in my office, cuddling one of my teddy bears, sobbing her heart out as she talked about her life. 

close-up photography of brown teddy bear

My heart ached for her – her life had not been easy, she saw no reason to go on and her lifestyle was threatening her mental and physical health. 

But….. Amanda still had the tiniest flicker of fight left in her, so we developed strategies together to fuel the tiny flame inside of her. Each week I would be overjoyed to see the triumphant small positive changes Amanda was making.

After one year, Amanda had reinvented herself! After three years, she contacted me to invite me to her graduation…. and to meet the handsome man beside her who was now her fiance. 

This courageous young woman taught me about courage, and that there is always an opportunity in adversity, there is always a way through the storms in life and that we are stronger than we think. Sometimes we just need the support of others to get us through the storms. 

That is why my passion is walking alongside you to empower you on your journey and find the calm in the storms of life. 

What is a “storm” in life that you have overcome? What did it teach you about yourself?   I’d love to hear from you- please share below. 

I would love to help you if you are experiencing a ” storm in your life” or if you have weathered the storm but now needing some help to find the “real you” who may have got lost in the storm. I would love to chat, why not book a free clarity call with me now:)
 

Categories
Mindset/Strenghts Resilience

7 Things You Can Do To Create Happiness During The Toughest of Times

Upheaval drags everyone down. A crisis wears on a person, eroding mood and destroying optimism. As you go into survival mode, it becomes harder and harder to hold onto any kind of joy at all. Instead, your days are taken up with emotions such as worry, anxiety, depression, anger, frustration, and fear. 

It seems like a pretty tough time to find happiness, doesn’t it?

Yet, more than ever, this is precisely when you need happiness most. It’s a positive outlook and a great deal of optimism, which is going to get you through these tough times, which means it’s up to you to create this happiness as soon as possible. Why not try these tips?

# Take a Walk

Physical exercise promotes mood in tremendous ways. Seize the chance to take a break for a few minutes when you can and step outside. Walk at an even pace, fast enough to raise your heart rate a little for the best results.

 

# Find a Distraction

You can’t focus on the crisis every minute of the day without driving yourself crazy. Occasionally you need to give your brain a break. Try reading a book, watching a show on TV, doing a puzzle, or engaging in a hobby for a little bit. 

 

# Eat Something Good

It’s so easy to forget regular meals when you’re in the midst of a crisis. But low blood sugar affects mood in negative ways. Also, if you’re just grabbing snacks, junk food can make you lethargic and inhibit your ability to think clearly. As much as possible, try to maintain a regular schedule for meals. And eat healthily!

# Fix Something

Your world is out of control and can’t be fixed easily. Help your mood by finding something you can correct and exert control over this situation. Why not do the mending you’ve set aside? Or do one of those little home repair jobs you’ve meant to tackle. 

 

# Sleep

Lack of rest does affect mood negatively. Even in a crisis, you need to sleep. Stay on your sleep schedule as much as possible.

 

# Hang Out with Friends

It’s not mentally healthy to isolate. Make time for friends, even if for only a short phone call. Touching base with people who love and support you will do wonders for your mood.

# Do Something

Act. Nothing makes you feel more helpless than inactivity. It might be you’re not able to do what you normally would during this upheaval. Instead, find the next best thing you can do and focus on that for five minutes at a time until it’s done.

Remember, happiness can’t be forced. Some days you’re just going to feel what you’re going to feel. But by paying attention to your mood and working to improve it, you set yourself up for the greatest success. 

Looking for a coach to help you with creating more happiness in your life? I can help! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you out of your moment of chaos and onto a clear path to getting things back on track to normal. Contact me today

Categories
Chaos / Upheaval Relationships

3 Things You Should do For Your Significant Other When the World Seems Out of Control

You have someone you love dearly, who loves you in return. Life looks good. 
Until it doesn’t.

Disaster strikes.

Sudden chaos and upheaval has spun your world out of control.

Everything you’ve worked so hard to build is about to come crashing down around you.

Even if the crisis has absolutely nothing to do with the two of you, this kind of upheaval can put an immense strain on a relationship. Tempers flare. Unresolved issues crop up all over again. If you’re not careful, things can fall apart very quickly, which is why it’s so essential to do the next three things immediately.

1 Become a Safe Place

Regardless of whether this crisis is theirs or something affecting you both, you’re going to have to take the same approach. You need to be someone the other person can count on. You’re here to be their partner, even in the tough times. The other person needs to feel like they can come to you with what they’re feeling and thinking entirely without judgment. If ever there was a time to be your loving best, it’s right now when you hold them through this upheaval.

 

2 Stay Calm

Once they trust you to be there for them, your next goal is to master your own emotions. You might be upset, angry, sad, worried, anxious, or a whole host of other things. You can even express that you’re feeling these things to your loved one (they’ll probably appreciate knowing they’re not the only ones feeling this way).

But you absolutely cannot be reacting emotionally. Here’s where you have to clamp down on your gut reaction and instead find a keen interest in what’s going on around you. Having a clear head is one of the best things you can give them right now, but you’ll never manage if you’re over-emotional.

3 Help Sort Things Out

Now that you’ve gotten a handle on the facts, it’s time to work together on an action plan. Your next goal? Be the one to strike a balance. Help them to see the situation clearly. Be someone who can help give a little perspective. Once a plan is made, be ready to help carry it out.
The world might feel like it’s spiraling out of control, but with these three steps, you can protect your relationship with your significant other and show them you truly are a team going forward. By doing this, you’re reminding them just how much you love them and how much you are on their side. Especially now when times are tough.

 

Have you been experiencing emotional pain and trauma since Covid 19 changed our world for ever? I can help! Check out my affordable coaching packages to help get you out of your moment of chaos and onto a clear path to getting things back on track to normal. Contact me today to arrange a free clarity call.

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