Category: Mindset/Strenghts

What Can We Learn From Chaos and Crisis?

Post author By Ally
Post date October 6, 2020
No Comments on What Can We Learn From Chaos and Crisis?

I still marvel at the incredible opportunities that are hiding inside chaos and crisis, although I was unable to see that at the incredibly emotionally painful time of my separation and divorce.

The most positive things I learned was to view a crisis as an opportunity, where lessons can be learned. It is an opening for change and improvement, and to view a situation through different eyes.

As I began to pick up the pieces of my life and place them one by one into a new normal, I increasingly sensed a strong desire to use the lessons I had learned to try and help others experiencing challenges and heartache.
This led me down a completely new career path, from teaching – to gaining qualifications as a coach and counsellor. I will never forget one of my counselling clients – a special young woman I will call Amanda for privacy reasons.

Amanda taught me about resilience, pain and purpose. Let me tell you about the incredible struggles she overcame…

Amanda was referred to me by her doctor as she was struggling with depression, bulimia, suicidal thoughts and addiction. We would meet each week, and for the first couple of months, Amanda would sit cross legged on the floor in my office, cuddling one of my teddy bears, sobbing her heart out as she talked about her life.

My heart ached for her – her life had not been easy, she saw no reason to go on and her lifestyle was threatening her mental and physical health.

But….. Amanda still had the tiniest flicker of fight left in her, so we developed strategies together to fuel the tiny flame inside of her. Each week I would be overjoyed to see the triumphant small positive changes Amanda was making.

After one year, Amanda had reinvented herself! After three years, she contacted me to invite me to her graduation…. and to meet the handsome man beside her who was now her fiance.

This courageous young woman taught me about courage, and that there is always an opportunity in adversity, there is always a way through the storms in life and that we are stronger than we think. Sometimes we just need the support of others to get us through the storms.

That is why my passion is walking alongside you to empower you on your journey and find the calm in the storms of life.

What is a “storm” in life that you have overcome? What did it teach you about yourself? I’d love to hear from you- please share below.

I would love to help you if you are experiencing a ” storm in your life” or if you have weathered the storm but now needing some help to find the “real you” who may have got lost in the storm. I would love to chat, why not book a free clarity call with me now:)

Tags change, chaos, disaster, disruption, life isn't fair, resilience, stress, Upheaval

Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth

Personal Growth: Finding Things You Need To Work On

Post author By Ally
Post date October 3, 2020
No Comments on Personal Growth: Finding Things You Need To Work On

Personal growth is the process of bettering and developing yourself and is something to engage in throughout your life.

How does a person figure out what parts of their life that they need to work on? Everyone has some part of like they need or want to improve. It’s one thing to want to improve some part of life. It’s another thing to actually do it.

How do you go about making a change in your life? Especially if you have spent most of your life up to this point just living day to day?

Do you ever think about the things in your life that you would really like to change?

Finding things, you need to work on is not as complicated as we make it.

Firstly, start where you are.

Project You

An important skill as an adult is self-development. Self-mastery, and learning how to be competent at activities of daily living are only the beginning. Beyond those skills that help you advance in your career and passions are there for the taking. Tap into your own motivation and drive to find the path to elevate yourself beyond the status quo. You are your own self-development project. You are the boss, the architect, and the quality control team.

Start With A List

No really. Make a list of what YOU think you need to work on. Then pick one and create plan of tasks to take on one at a time. Do this once a month. Some of your goals will change. Some won’t matter anymore. Some new items will pop up. There is nothing more satisfying than marking off a goal you have accomplished.

Treat Yourself

Making progress is motivating. Reaching milestones lights the fire to keep going. Reward yourself for progress along the way. Rewards don’t have to be extravagant. They could be as simple as watching a favorite movie or treating yourself to a favorite take-out meal. A small treat after hard work, and reaching a goal is a great way to motivate yourself to stay on track and keep going. Celebrate that progress.

Network

Share your goals and vision with like-minded individuals. This can be friends, supportive family, or even social media groups. You don’t have to all be in the same physical location to support each other. Sharing highs, lows, successes, and failures are a great way to gain insight and comradery on your journey of personal growth. You are not alone in your desire for change.

Revise, Regroup, And Reframe

If it’s broke, fix it. Don’t be inflexible about your methods. When you are working on personal growth you have to be open-minded and a little flexible. Sometimes the best plans fail. It’s ok. Nothing has to be perfect. You have a lifetime to work on improving yourself and reaching goals. If a plan needs to be adjusted make the change. Then get started again right away.

Expand Your Mind

Personal improvement takes time and commitment. It certainly cannot be achieved in a single day. This journey is a process. The change is gradual. There are many ways to create a growth mindset in your life. Browse social media, read self-help books, or psychology books, study goal setting, attend conferences, and listen to podcasts to open your mind up to new ways of personal growth.

These are just some of the tips and tools to help you on the journey to personal growth. Life is an ever-changing journey. At different stages in life, your goals and perspectives may change.

Keep going in the process for self-knowledge, self-mastery, and personal improvement. This is one aspect of living a fulfilling and balanced life.

If you would like some help on your personal growth journey, I would love to work with you:) Book your free clarity call here

Mindset/Strenghts Uncategorized

Gratitude – It’s All About Choices

Post author By Ally
Post date September 12, 2020
No Comments on Gratitude – It’s All About Choices

How you feel – how happy you are, how stressed you are, even how well you sleep – may seem like it’s out of your hand, but it is actually a choice you make.

You can choose to be grateful for what you have and happiness follows. Or you can choose to focus on what you’re lacking, who has wronged you, and what’s not going your way.

And guess what? You’ll feel miserable. You may blame others, circumstances, or fate for your unhappiness. But at the end of the day it’s all about you and the choices you make. You choose happiness or misery.

Making The Right Choices

How can you make sure you make the right choices throughout life? One of the simplest ways to ensure you live a happy and fulfilled life is to focus on gratitude. Of course that’s easier said than done.

You get upset when your friend stands you up on your lunch date and that’s okay. How you choose to move forward from here is what will make the difference.

You can choose to dwell on the slight you think your friend gave you. The more you think about it, the more angry you feel. Instead of having lunch at the new restaurant you were looking forward to trying, you get back into your car, drive home and let it ruin your day.

That’s a choice. Now let’s look at a different one.

Making Different Choices

Same scenario. Your friend stands you up. You’re disappointed and maybe even a little mad. You take a deep breath, let those negative feelings go and make a choice based on gratitude.

What can you find in this situation that you can be grateful for? Maybe you’ve been wishing for some quiet alone time so you can hear yourself think.

Maybe there’s a store you’ve wanted to check out or a movie you’ve wanted to see for a while and this is the time to do it. Maybe there’s an old friend you’ve been meaning to visit.

Or maybe you’ll simply enjoy a good meal by yourself and grab some takeout for your spouse on the way out the door.

Instead of heading home angry, you’re going home grateful for these few special hours you carved out for yourself. And who knows. Maybe you talk to your friend later that evening and find out that she had a family emergency that caused her to miss your lunch date.

How guilty would you feel then about the anger you let yourself feel towards her? And how guilty would she feel for having ruined your day? Instead, focusing on gratitude and making the best of the situation, you created happiness for yourself. If you ask me, that’s some sort of super power.

We’re all hardwired to see the negative first and to put more emphasis on it than than the positive.Start seeing the glass half full instead of half empty and be grateful for it, and see if it changes your life!

Do you tend to see the glass half empty rather than half full, I’d love to help! Book a free clarity call with me now and I’ll share a positive psychology intervention to help get you feeling more grateful.

Book you free clarity call here

Tags gratitude

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