You’re an excellent parent. You’ve really nailed the finer points of taking care of your child. They are healthy. They are happy.
Every day they are learning new things and growing.
But how about you, how are you doing?
It’s so easy when we’re parents to forget to take care of ourselves. Self-care somehow always seems to be on the bottom of the list, somewhere after laundry and running errands. Time for ourselves becomes something of a joke.
But there are things even a busy parent can do in order to practice self-care. Consider these things:
Take Five Minutes to Breathe
As parents who has time to breathe? As it turns out, you do. Stopping in your tracks for a few deep breaths is an incredibly calming experience. This is especially useful when your day has been extraordinarily stressful. Even a few minutes of deep breaths can do wonders to improve your mood.
Go Green
Numerous studies have been done to prove just how much nature matters. Green spaces have a way of recharging us which positively affects our cognition, our stress levels, and even our physical health. With this in mind, try to get outside when you can. If you can’t, consider creating an indoor garden to enjoy year-round.
Read
It might seem laughable for a parent to have time to read a book. At the same time, you’d be amazed how quickly you can get through a story by reading a page here and there whenever you have a free moment. Reading engages the mind and gives you a much-needed respite. for bonus points, join a book club. Talking about something you’ve read with other adults is some of the best self-care there is.
Create an Oasis
We all need a space apart which belongs entirely to us. This can be hard when you’re a parent. Try to carve out a cozy nook somewhere which is entirely yours. Maintain the space with knickknacks and delights of your choosing. No toys or children’s paraphernalia allowed.
Take Some Alone Time
Grab a few minutes for yourself while the children are napping or at school. Use this for an indulgence designed just to pamper you. Enjoy a bubble bath. Visit a friend. If your children are particularly young, you might want to consider hiring a sitter. Even if you stay at home, having someone else watch the kids so you can have a few minutes to yourself will do wonders for your mood.
Whatever you do, the point is to take time for yourself in a way which helps you to recharge. This is crucial, as your children really need a parent who is calm and relaxed and ready to take up the challenges of child rearing again.
Have you ever stopped to notice how fast our days seem to fly by? We wake up, bombarded with an insane amount of things we have to get done. Then, just like that, the day is over.
Of course, having the world at your fingertips doesn’t help to slow things down. It only adds to the chaos.
Today, I want to focus on what matters most in our lives. That could mean different things for different people. Nevertheless, each one of us has certain things they value more than others.
So, read ahead to find out how you can live your best life by focusing more on the things that matter.
The Most Important Things in Life
Having status and designer shoes are great and everything. But having them won’t make you any happier or healthier than the average person.
Another thing we tend to obsess over is what we don’t have. Sometimes, it becomes our driving force that can lead to negative habits and behavior.
Let me ask you this: do you want to live your best life today and every day? This is what you should do:
#1 Identify What Matters the Most to You
First, take a step back and look at your life from a different vantage point. Next, try to dissect each aspect of your life. Which areas should you pay more attention to? Which should you cut back on?
To lead a balanced, well-fulfilled life, consider having one, or all, or the following. Maybe you can even add a couple of our own to the list.
A healthy body and mind
Family and friends
Money in the bank
The drive to constantly learn new things
A place to call home
Realistic goals and a purpose in life
The takeaway: Recognizing that what matters most in life has nothing to do with material possessions can help you appreciate what you have. Reconnecting with these things can lead to a better, happier, fuller life. It can also boost creativity and lower stress. It also gives you control over your happiness, rather than allowing external factors to affect your inner peace.
#2 Listen and Pay Attention
While it’s important to listen to those close to you in life, it’s much more than that. It’s also about listening to yourself and paying attention to your likes and dislikes. This is a measure of your true worth and how much you love yourself.
Self-love requires practice, but it gets easier with time. When you’re at peace with yourself, you allow yourself to love others in a healthy, mature relationship.
The takeaway: Show yourself the same kindness and compassion you show others. When you look in the mirror, focus on the good rather than the bad. Treat yourself to nice things and be happy with who you are.
#3 Be in the Present
Too often, we find ourselves regretting the past or worrying about the future. However, what matters the most is the moment we’re living right here and now.
Connecting with the world around you makes you appreciate what you have. The more you’re in tune with your ‘present,’ the more you’ll realize just how precious life can be.
As Earl Nightingale said, “Learn to enjoy every minute of your life…Think how really precious the time is you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.”
The takeaway: Being self-aware helps bring tranquility and happiness into your life. In turn, the happier and calmer you are, the more things you’ll find to be thankful for.
#4 Find a Hobby
Hobbies are the things you do for fun in your free time. They can range from knitting to deep-sea diving to jumping from airplanes.
Your experiences in life are what make it worth living. They give it meaning and shape the way you see others around you. Doing something you enjoy has been widely hailed as one of the best stress reducers of our time.
You can also use it to push your boundaries a bit and step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, the idea of doing something new can be terrifying. If this happens to you, recognize your fear. Then, tell yourself it’s okay to be nervous about something new.
The takeaway: Live your life. Be eager to try out new experiences. They’re what add fulfillment and richness to your life.
#5 Practice Positive Habits
Identifying positive habits and carrying them out daily brings order to your life. Good habits also result in good physical and mental health.
With a steady routine, you can reduce distractions that stand in the way of your accomplishing things. They also help steer you towards making better decisions. Studies show that by creating routines and enforcing good habits, you become better at taking care of your life, health, and overall well-being.
The trick is to be authentic to your values and beliefs. Let’s be honest, that can be hard to do in this media-frenzy world we’re living in. Yet, just having confidence in who you are can help shine the light on what matters most in your life.
The takeaway: Your thoughts are expressed through your words and, ultimately, your actions. Those actions turn into habits, so make sure you stick to enforcing positive habits in your life.
Final Thoughts
These five things are just some of the ways you can focus on what matters most in your life. At the end of the day, what it boils down to is that to live your best life, you have to focus on certain things over others.
Remember, what matters more to you may not be as important to others. So, stay true to your values and hold on to the things you treasure more in life.
There’s a quote that has been around for a long time that shows us why we need to take charge of our habits….
“The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.” by Warren Buffet.
If you don’t take charge of your habits, even ones that seem harmless, they will easily control you.
While habits are easily formed and followed through, especially once your brain recognizes them as habits, you can still change them. Always remember that you are in control, not your habits.
Habit expert and writer of the book ‘Atomic Habits’ James Clear has four rules for forming habits that can help you take charge of them. You may have some good habits..and some not so good habits, either way you can still use these rules to gain some measure of control. These rules, according to Atomic Habits, are:
Make it obvious
Make it attractive
Make it easy
Make it satisfying
Make it Obvious
To take charge of your habits, you need to make them obvious. For example, let’s pretend you have decided you want to start running. If your running shoes and gear are in the closet, then that habit isn’t so obvious or apparent. Your brain will just want to stay in bed in the morning rather than sifting through your wardrobe for your shoes.
So, you can put your running shoes by the door and make sure that they are the first thing you see in the morning. Then you’ll be reminded that you should run today. To break bad habits, you want to hide them away.
Make it Attractive
With habits, most people focus on the long-term goals. You might say, “I will go for a run to get my beach body in ten weeks.” While that goal is noble, it does nothing when running in the cold and feeling miserable.
So, make your habits attractive and give yourself a reward or incentive to get it done. Perhaps you could run with a friend, or choose a running path that has a pleasant view or lovely surroundings. I also find jogging on a bush track gives me far more pleasure just by being out amongst nature, that jogging on the city streets. For bad habits, add extra steps or make going the habit very unattractive.
Make it Easy
Remember, the brain always takes on the path of least resistance. If that path happens to lead to your habit, then more power to you. It might seem illogical, but instead of telling yourself. I will run a mile today; say that you will only run a block.
Having smaller micro-habits will make everything easier and will help you do them. Most people go too big, get discouraged, and then get burnt out. But running a block, reading one page of a book, or doing one push-up is something that takes no time at all. Plus, if you are able to achieve one small habit, what is stopping you doing another…and another?
For bad habits, add more resistance to them and make them harder to achieve.
Make it Satisfying
Reward yourself along the journey for your habits, and you’ll keep doing them. Maybe if you go running for thirty days, give yourself some type of reward. Have a good meal, watch a movie, do something you wouldn’t normally do, and also reflect on how running has made you a better person than you were 30 days ago.
For bad habits, remove the satisfaction from them, and you won’t see them as a reward.
You Are In Control
Remember, you are in control! Every habit, good or bad, comes from your brain, you are the one that is in charge.
If you want to make or break a habit, you are the only one who can do so. Follow the four steps, and you’ll find that it gets easier and easier to take charge and make your habits work for you.
