Categories
Fresh Start Self Care Self Esteem/Self Confidence

Live Your Best Life: Focus On What Matters Most

Have you ever stopped to notice how fast our days seem to fly by? We wake up, bombarded with an insane amount of things we have to get done. Then, just like that, the day is over.

Of course, having the world at your fingertips doesn’t help to slow things down. It only adds to the chaos.

Today, I want to focus on what matters most in our lives. That could mean different things for different people. Nevertheless, each one of us has certain things they value more than others.

So, read ahead to find out how you can live your best life by focusing more on the things that matter.

The Most Important Things in Life

Having status and designer shoes are great and everything. But having them won’t make you any happier or healthier than the average person.

Another thing we tend to obsess over is what we don’t have. Sometimes, it becomes our driving force that can lead to negative habits and behavior.

Let me ask you this: do you want to live your best life today and every day? This is what you should do:

#1 Identify What Matters the Most to You

First, take a step back and look at your life from a different vantage point. Next, try to dissect each aspect of your life. Which areas should you pay more attention to? Which should you cut back on?

To lead a balanced, well-fulfilled life, consider having one, or all, or the following. Maybe you can even add a couple of our own to the list.

  • A healthy body and mind
  • Family and friends
  • Money in the bank
  • The drive to constantly learn new things
  • A place to call home 
  • Realistic goals and a purpose in life

The takeaway: Recognizing that what matters most in life has nothing to do with material possessions can help you appreciate what you have. Reconnecting with these things can lead to a better, happier, fuller life. It can also boost creativity and lower stress. It also gives you control over your happiness, rather than allowing external factors to affect your inner peace.

A woman holding a heart

#2 Listen and Pay Attention

While it’s important to listen to those close to you in life, it’s much more than that. It’s also about listening to yourself and paying attention to your likes and dislikes. This is a measure of your true worth and how much you love yourself.

Self-love requires practice, but it gets easier with time. When you’re at peace with yourself, you allow yourself to love others in a healthy, mature relationship.

The takeaway: Show yourself the same kindness and compassion you show others. When you look in the mirror, focus on the good rather than the bad. Treat yourself to nice things and be happy with who you are.

#3 Be in the Present

Too often, we find ourselves regretting the past or worrying about the future. However, what matters the most is the moment we’re living right here and now.

Connecting with the world around you makes you appreciate what you have. The more you’re in tune with your ‘present,’ the more you’ll realize just how precious life can be.

As Earl Nightingale said, “Learn to enjoy every minute of your life…Think how really precious the time is you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.”

The takeaway: Being self-aware helps bring tranquility and happiness into your life. In turn, the happier and calmer you are, the more things you’ll find to be thankful for.

man on top of mountain taking pictures

#4 Find a Hobby

Hobbies are the things you do for fun in your free time. They can range from knitting to deep-sea diving to jumping from airplanes.

Your experiences in life are what make it worth living. They give it meaning and shape the way you see others around you. Doing something you enjoy has been widely hailed as one of the best stress reducers of our time.

You can also use it to push your boundaries a bit and step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, the idea of doing something new can be terrifying. If this happens to you, recognize your fear. Then, tell yourself it’s okay to be nervous about something new.

The takeaway: Live your life. Be eager to try out new experiences. They’re what add fulfillment and richness to your life.

#5 Practice Positive Habits

Identifying positive habits and carrying them out daily brings order to your life. Good habits also result in good physical and mental health.

With a steady routine, you can reduce distractions that stand in the way of your accomplishing things. They also help steer you towards making better decisions. Studies show that by creating routines and enforcing good habits, you become better at taking care of your life, health, and overall well-being.

The trick is to be authentic to your values and beliefs. Let’s be honest, that can be hard to do in this media-frenzy world we’re living in. Yet, just having confidence in who you are can help shine the light on what matters most in your life.

The takeaway: Your thoughts are expressed through your words and, ultimately, your actions. Those actions turn into habits, so make sure you stick to enforcing positive habits in your life.

Final Thoughts

These five things are just some of the ways you can focus on what matters most in your life. At the end of the day, what it boils down to is that to live your best life, you have to focus on certain things over others.

Remember, what matters more to you may not be as important to others. So, stay true to your values and hold on to the things you treasure more in life.

Categories
Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth Self Care Self Esteem/Self Confidence

How To Stop Being Your Own Worst Critic

The phrase “We are our own worst critic,” applies to many people. I certainly know what it was like to constantly have my annoying inner critic constantly beat myself up repeatedly and make me feel as though nothing I did was good enough. Being too hard on yourself crosses a fine line between having high standards, and beating yourself up. 

Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting to become the best version of yourself, procrastinating and constantly being down on yourself for failures is counterproductive and bad for mental health, self-esteem, and self-image. 

So here are some action steps to stop self-criticism that have helped me take control over that pesky inner voice that likes to run the show.

# Identify Your Strengths 

Make a list of what you are good – and before your inner critic starts telling you there is nothing you are good at, get in first and start making that list. Everyone has things they are good at – even you! Focus on making those things better and find ways to use those skills or attributes that you have. Exploit what you are good at for the positive. Use these things to improve your career, life, and overall self.

Accept Positive Feedback

Accepting positive feedback from others was really difficult for me. I would instantly dismiss it – which I now realise was quite insulting to the person giving me the compliment. I learnt a valuable lesson from a senior matron years ago when she heard me once again throwing a compliment out before I had even heard all of it. She said ” Its just as gracious to receive as it is to give” – something I have never forgotten. Don’t automatically deny nice things that people say. Be objective while accepting a compliment or piece of positive feedback.

"It's just as gracious to receive as it is to give"

Face Your Inner Critic

Identify where your negative beliefs and cognitive distortions come from. Often they stem from childhood experiences or authorities in our lives. We all have various life experiences and personal reasons that lead us to use negative thinking. Often this happens in a habitual way. Breaking these habits and thought patterns can drastically change the way we think and feel as well as the flow of our daily lives. The simple act of gaining awareness of your inner critic is the first step to managing it.

Practice Mindfulness

What Is Mindfulness?

Being mindful means that we are aware and, focused on what is happening at this very moment. We are not distracted by technology, priorities, people, the past, or the future. We are in the moment right now.

Staying in the moment takes practice. Being mindful in the moment you are living in right now can help you feel less stressed out and be a huge mental health gain. Your mental health can improve from using mindfulness activities, taking part in self-care practices, as well as caring for your overall physical health. 

Some Benefits Of Being Mindful

  • When you are able to turn off “autopilot”, you will experience a richer life
  • Less stress and anxiety
  • Improved focus and attention
  • Increased self-awareness
  • Increased mental health

Practice breathing exercises, or mindful journaling daily to slow your pace, and draw your focus inward to the present moment. Learning to practice mindfulness helps you learn to think and speak to yourself in a more thoughtful and loving manner. This is a key way to stop self-criticism.

Send Out Good Energy

Be nice to people. Put out kindness and be decent to other human beings. This can come back to you at some time in life. Keeping your own energy on the positive side is good for you, and good for others. 

Choose Specific Goals To Improve On

Perfection doesn’t exist — but progress does. One way to reduce self-criticism is to make improvements in life that are truly important to you. This can be a huge stress reducer, and help you bring a sense of progress and optimism to your life. Make a plan and stick to it to reach your goals. Focus on what is important and re assess often. It is better to be productive than self-critical.

Appreciate Your Successes

When setting goals, and making change, don’t forget the significance of acknowledging progress. Celebrating progress on your journey is an important step in staying motivated, and also enjoying the results from all of your hard work. When reaching a goal instead of immediately pushing on to the next thing on your to-do list take a moment and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. 

Knock Out Your Inner Critic

Doing some interior work as to why you are self-critical can help you take steps in the right direction. This kind of work and progress takes time. You may want to talk to a trusted mentor or friend, or even a therapist. Whether you go it alone or as a team effort it is worth the reflection and introspection to make these changes. 

Improve your health and wellbeing by silencing self-criticism. Start working on these changes today and you will be amazed at what life is like without self-criticism. 

Categories
Personal Growth Relationships Self Esteem/Self Confidence

How To Make A Good First Impression

 Making a great first impression isn’t always easy, but it’s well worth attempting as much as you possibly can. To help you make it happen more often, here are three simple rules you should always follow. While they are not the only great advice on making a good first impression, they are the things that will have the biggest impact – whether you get them right or wrong. I suggest you get them right 🙂 

Rule #1 – Dress To Impress 

Pay attention to what you’re wearing. This may seem very superficial, but that’s what first impressions are all about. They are a first, quick judgment based on things like appearance. Overdress just a little if it’s an important first meeting like going to a job interview or meeting the future in-laws for the first time. 

At the very least make sure that what you’re wearing is neat and flattering. Don’t go crazy and when in doubt go for something somewhat conservative. You can always let your personality shine after you’ve made that great first impression. 

Rule #2 – Be On Time 

Another very important thing to remember is to always be on time. It makes you look prepared and reliable. But there’s another important reason for this. There are two types of people in this world.

The first group is a stickler for time. Being late is one of their biggest pet peeves. The other group has a more loose interpretation of being on time and doesn’t mind waiting for someone for a few minutes, or being late themselves. 

The problem is that you never know what camp the person you’re about to meet will fall into ahead of time. So be prepared and make sure you get there on time or even a little early. It’ll look good no matter how the person you’re meeting will feel about time and it will definitely keep you from making a bad impression with a time stickler. 

Rule #3 – Think Before You Speak 

Last but not least, think before you speak. It’s easy to get nervous and just prattle on about anything and everything. It makes you look nervous and silly. Even worse, if you don’t think before you talk it’s very easy to put your foot in your mouth. Trust me, I’ve done it plenty of times. It’s not a good feeling and definitely a quick and easy way to ruin that first impression.