Categories
Personal Growth

Criticism Is Not Always Meant to Be Negative

Do you struggle to handle criticism?

While some criticism does come from a negative place, most of the time it is meant with love and good intentions. Unfortunately, even if the person criticizing you is coming from a good place, it can still hurt.

If you struggle to handle criticism, here we’ll look at why it isn’t always a negative thing. 

Differentiating Between Negative and Positive Criticism

There are a few ways to determine whether criticism is coming from a positive or negative place. It could be that you naturally respond badly to criticism of any kind. Many people are naturally defensive when they are met with criticism. So, the first step is to tame that initial negative reaction. 

Try and view the criticism with an open mind. Remember, none of us are perfect! Could there be any truth in what the person is saying? Also pay attention to how the criticism is delivered. Do they give a reason for their feedback, or does it appear that they are nit-picking just to be difficult?

Criticism can come from a negative place, but often it is said to help us improve. Being able to recognize when somebody is being helpful, or just negative, is important.

The Role of Self-Esteem 

Your self-esteem will largely determine how you react to criticism. The more confident you are, the less likely criticism is to affect you. Those who have a healthy dose of self-esteem will be able to learn from any criticism they receive without taking it too personally. 

Think about your own self-esteem. Could it use some improvement? If so, focus on ways to build up your self-esteem and you’ll notice this has a direct impact on your ability to handle criticism. You’ll find a lot of awesome self-esteem building tips online. 

Top Tips to Deal with People Who Criticize Instead of Critique

We’ve all been criticized when what we needed was an honest critique, with positive and negative points. As you work on building up your self-esteem, there are some other tips you can implement to deal with overly critical or negative people. 

Staying calm is important. You may find when you are met with criticism, your initial reaction is anger. However, if you express anger, it isn’t going to help the situation. In fact, it could work in your critic’s favor! Remaining calm gives, you the ability to fully understand where the criticism is coming from and enables you to deal with it much better.

If the problems are coming from your boss, try and get to the bottom of where the feedback is coming from. If you feel it is still unjust, ask to speak to somebody higher up in the company. Sometimes we need an outsiders view to see what is really happening.

Overall, criticism is never nice to deal with. However, it isn’t always meant as a negative. Some criticism can help you to grow and become a better person. So, don’t be quick to dismiss any criticism thrown your way. Think about it with an open mind and decide whether there is something to be learned.

Categories
Mindset/Strenghts Personal Growth

Stop Worrying About What People Think

Do you find yourself constantly doubting your decisions? Are you fretting over other people’s reactions to your actions or opinions?

In this post, we’ll share some tips and tricks to help you stop worrying about what people think of you. Learn how to use constructive criticism to your advantage. Then, simply filter out any negative judgment.

This will leave you less anxious and less overwhelmed. As a result, you can stay more focused on yourself and the best ways to achieve your goals.

Let’s get started.

Are People’s Opinions Holding You Back?

Worrying about what others think and feel about you is a normal part of our DNA. We’re programmed to seek others’ approval.

Studies show there’s a reward center that’s activated when we’re given a compliment. Even if you just sense other people’s recognition of your hard work, your brains fire up those same reward centers.

So, we feel good about ourselves when we’re accepted. Yet, we can’t always be accepted and liked by everyone at all times.

Problems start when we start pivoting our lifestyles to fit people’s expectations. We give others power over our lives and how we should live it. Consequently, we lose out on being who we truly are.

After that, things go downhill and start spiraling out of control. Being stuck in that mind frame can be destructive to you and those around you.

Going down this unproductive path, you’ll be leaving a path of destruction in your wake. Your job will be affected, relationships might be sabotaged, and your self-esteem will most certainly take a hit.

What Can I Do To Stop Worrying About What Other People Think?

Do some serious soul searching. Do you feel that your reality has shifted? Have you started to believe in other people’s version of who you are as opposed to the real you?

Then, it’s time to step up and take some actionable steps. You owe it to yourself to share the real you with the world. They don’t know what they’re missing!

We rounded some simple, yet effective, ways to help you break this vicious cycle. Read on to learn more.

Focus on What’s Important

Has someone said something unkind about you? Instead of letting it fester, don’t let it go to your head.

Chances are, that person won’t recall what they said in about ten minutes. Plus, what they say reflects who they are as a person. If you think about it, it actually has very little to do with you.

In other words, their perceptions of you come from them. And you’re not responsible for how they feel or what they think, neither can you change any of it. So, why waste your time fretting over something you have no control over?

Instead, channel that energy into something productive. You can learn a new skill, take up a class, or pick up an old hobby. Just make sure that whatever it is, it’s something you enjoy.

Below are some things more worthy of your time than worrying about what people think:

  • Spend quality time with friends and family
  • Smile at the barista serving your coffee or hold the door for someone
  • Find and surround yourself people who support and encourage you
  • Become a Volunteer at a local food bank or community shelter
  • Connect with nature and take a walk on the beach or through the park
  • Have dinner at that restaurant you’ve been dying to try

Highlight Your Accomplishments

We’ve all been through difficult times in our lives; some more than others. At the same time, we’ve all accomplished one thing or another.

It doesn’t have to be anything grandiose or elaborate. It just has to mean something to you, like filing your taxes on time or making home-cooked meals for an entire week. Acknowledge yourself for what you have achieved and all the hard work you put in. Give yourself a meaning fun reward – something that is fun or nourishing for your soul perhaps – it does not have to be expensive.

You can even write down these accomplishments and hang them up on your fridge or vanity mirror. Then every time you catch a glimpse of one of your achievements, say to yourself, “I did that!” Keep repeated it as often as needed until your subconscious takes it in.

Another way to boost your confidence is to practice saying encouraging statements. These will help build up your self-esteem and improve the way you view yourself.

Here are a few statements to get you inspired:

  • My self-confidence is on the rise.
  • I’m worthy of all good things.
  • I can’t control what happens, but I can control my reaction to them.
  • My ideas are great.
  • I’m blessed and appreciative of everyone and everything in my life.

Train Yourself to See the Positive

Our brains are wired to see the negative. We complain, we blame others, and we dwell. That has to stop today!

Yet is possible to adopt a more of a positive thinking attitude by training your thoughts to be more positive. But not in a deluded, naive sort of way; in a healthy, productive way. As a result, you become less anxious and more resilient.

To be honest, this works if you think more objectively, especially when it comes to your weaknesses or flaws.

We all have them. Some are just better at acknowledging and improving them than others. Why can’t that be you?

Write down a list of five things that bother you about yourself. Then, set some realistic goals to change them and reward yourself each time you reach one of your set goals.

Make sure you start small and work at your own pace. The point is to feel good about yourself, not overwhelm or burden you. It kind of defeats the purpose.

  1. Practice Relaxation Techniques

Relaxation techniques are becoming popular because people are realizing the importance of self-care. These techniques aim at reducing stress levels and improving your overall health. They also teach you the value of savoring the present.

When you focus on your today, you stop worrying about what happened in the past or what might happen in the future. These techniques can also help you stop worrying about what people think about you.

And best of all you can do them anywhere – thats the best thing about them. Whenever you start to worry, remind yourself that you could be overreacting. In all likelihood, your colleagues aren’t judging you as harshly as you think they are.

Take a few deep breaths and focus on anything around you: your coffee mug, a cloud, and your nails. Anything that can steer your thoughts to the present moment will do the trick!

Then, lo and behold, you’ll notice that your pulse is slowing down and so is your heart rate. Your anxiety will start to recede and you’ll realize you don’t care about what people think as much anymore.

Check out these marvelous relaxation techniques. You can even do a couple of them as you’re reading this post.

  • Mindful meditation
  • Yoga
  • Aromatherapy
  • Guided breathing
Categories
Fresh Start Personal Growth

Finding Your Purpose May Require Change

People have difficulty accepting change. However, it’s the one aspect of life we know will happen.its then thing we can be sure of – whether we like it or not, change is going to happen. If you don’t do well with change, you should reverse your aversion to it.

Think of it this way. Perhaps you haven’t yet found your purpose because you have resisted change. That is a common affliction with many people. They simply refuse to accept that something different is happening in their lives. 

The good news is people adapt with relative ease. After a while, you’ll have no choice but to accept most of the changes that happen in your life. People close to you will move on (one way or another). You will go through stages of life. In the end, you will cherish the memories that you have.

There are unintended consequences in most changes that occur for you. For instance, your current boss may leave the company, and a new one is going to replace them. You enjoyed working for the old boss and are dreading the new one. He or she could be someone you don’t like. Then again, the situation could now be beneficial to you. Perhaps the new boss and you tend to have a similar line of thinking, more so than your old boss.

You will need to deal with changes in your personal life, too. Your kids are going to move out of your house eventually. You may have to one day take care of your parents, and so on. When you are young and first starting out on your own, you don’t think of these situations.

The most significant benefit of any change is that it may be just what is needed to find your purpose. If you are used to the same routine, and it doesn’t seem right for you, changes may give you the boost and desire to find something that is right for you.

You should try to expose yourself to change more often. Some changes you cannot plan. However, there are many that you can. For instance, you can try to take an opposing point of view that you would never dare to in the past. If you favor a political party, speak with people from the opposite party. Try to keep an open mind when doing this. Ask them how they chose that point of view.

By exposing yourself to change, you will become better at accepting it. When this happens, you may be closer to discovering who you are and what is your purpose.